I have posted my story on breaking up so I won't bore you with repeating. I am on day 12 of NC with my ex. We had been dating a little over 6 weeks when he asked for space. I am 29 and he is 28. I am curious to know if anyone had any success stories with their ex's coming back. I know it is a long shot but I have stuck to strict no contact- no ims, texts, phone calls nothing. If you want to know more about my situation please read my post from 2 days ago- I still would love any support or advice. I am hanging in there and the days are getting easier.
I need to correct my post- I said 6 weeks- no we had been dating over 6 months before he asked for space. Well I hope someone has a story that is uplifting about second chances!
my advice = use the search tool and look for threads started by a guy named "universe" he's got some sound advice for people too if you search his posts, and if anything his threads show the recovery process really well. The guy is well respected here on LS.
There are a few success stories here. But for the most part we have been wronged, and that's why we are here. Looking for an answer.
I wish I could help more. Myself I am wigging out as my g/f of close to a year told me about a month ago she wasn't in love with me, and that I deserve more than what she can offer. We talked a few times in the past 3 weeks and are on a break, but I'm pretty sure things won't resolve. She hasn' called me, just returned a couple of SMS's of mine that were in no way begging, but still breaking NC.
I miss her dearly and wish for the best. Who knows, maybe she wants me to call. Maybe she needs space. Maybe she just doesn't like me anymore. Who knows. All I can do is control what I can control, and go on from there.
I have a success story. Actually, I've got dozens (from the same relationship), but they're all essentially the same.
One of the earlier fights, I "cheated" on him (still in dispute to this day). He gave me the silent treatment for 3 weeks, with a few "leave me alone"'s, but then we made up.
Another one was when he was working extra hours at work. I thought he lost feelings, so I broke up with him. He accepted it because I think he was mad at me for causing drama instead of supporting him. But anyway, 2 weeks later, he came back.
Teapot
Thanks for replying- I am not sure if my situation is similar to yours. We didn't cheat or anything- it was mainly a stress induced and also potential incompatibility with our careers. I am not looking to play games for him to come back. I am trying to just stay strong and also allow myself to go to the process.
I am glad to hear that you are doing well. Today is the 2 week mark and I feel really good. I know that there are some rough times ahead in that my grieving process is cyclical. I know 6 months may not sound long- but at 29 it was a very serious relationship so I am feeling pain but I am hanging in there. Keep the healing or getting back together success stories coming
Success story here. My boyfriend of 3 years and I have broken up twice...first i did, then 6 months later he did. I think we both went through the same thing- uncertainty, fear, interest in other people. But after time apart, and resolving our respective "issues", we have come to love and respect each other more than ever.
I have a success story when enforcing NC. MY bf of 3 yrs decided he needed to know if he could live on without me whatever whatever (regardless of the excuse its all the same) and so I had a breakdown and from that point on I stayed as far away from him as possible. I moved on, and then a month later I got an email from him begging me to talk to him, that he was so heartbroken i hadnt called to wish him a happy birthday, yadda yadda.
I had planned on ignoring it, but as fate would have it, we both went to the same bar that night and he scooped me up to talk to me. He cried, begged for me back, said he would do anything to win me over.
It's been a month now and we're still going strong. It's been great and as long as he keeps himself in check, we'll continue to be fine. I just got a new job (old one was wearing on me) and my bday is on friday so a lot of things are going on right now, but he keeps talking about us getting married and our future.
I should mention we are both in our early 20's. I'll be 23 soon actually.
I dunno if that helps at all, but my way oif thinking was, he could have all or none of me, but we weerent trying any of that "friends" crap until i had sufficient time to heal. I guess everything happens for a reason...
I also want to add: He dsaid that the element of mystery that my disappearing act brought out really intrigued him and mader him realize I am not going to sit around and wait for him forever, and it motivated him to act accordingly. Interesting...
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Love makes you do crazy things...insane things. Things you never thought in a million years you would see youself do. - Wicker Park
Good judgement comes from experience and experience, well...that comes from bad judgement
J DUB
Thanks for sharing and good luck with your new job and relationship. I hope it all goes well for you. I agree with you about total no contact. I think 1/2 way talking to each other or doing the friends thing right after a break up is so detrimental. I haven't talked to my ex who wanted space in 18 days and I am processing things better.
Thanks again
I first posted here under the name SadAndLonely, so you'll have to search that name for my complete story. But basically, my boyfriend and I started dating in May of last year. Within the first four months we broke up three times. The third time we broke up for a month.
I did do NC for a week, mostly because he asked me to so he could "get over" me. Yeah, well, guess ya don't get over a beautiful woman who treats you like gold, because we got back together a few weeks after that week of NC.
I basically focused on myself, did my own thing, and didn't call him, a method I still use to this day. I let him chase me, not the other way around. I've noticed that when I do chase him, he seems less interested.
I'll always remember that night when, after spending a day together and with some mutual friends, he called me shortly after I got home at midnight and basically let out that he missed me and still wanted me. We've been together for more than 16 months now.
A couple I know were married for two years, they got divorced and were apart for about a year. She moved to Wyoming and he was in Tenneessee, They had no children at the time and no reason to talk, but they couldn't stay away from each other and now are back together in Teneessee, they have remarried and two two precious children.......
My bestfriend and her now husband, dated for about 1 1/2 yrs. She wanted to get married and he didn't, he still wanted to play. So she ended the relationship. After about a year seperation, he stood on the side of the road holding up a sign on a street corner on her way to work , saying he loves her and cant live without her, but she didn't go to work that morning..... Butanyway they have been married for 6 yrs now.....
Just a few stories to still give us hope......
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If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail.
Wow, Is nice to see that there are a few success stories.
As for me I would never get back with the ex and I doubt she would ever get back with me, eventhough at some point in the relationship she told me I was her soulmate...lol . Her values and morals are not what I want in a relationship. 2 months now of NC, it hurts sometimes but its getting easier everyday.
thanks everyone.
Last edited by jomaxfury; 1st October 2005 at 2:42 AM..
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We've been together for more than 16 months now.
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