For guys: when a woman leaves a friendship because she wants more = betrayal?

Aimée · 22nd September 2005, 1:27 PM

I had guy friends in the past who sometimes wanted more. With some I wasn't that close and when they retreated somewhat I didn't mind, actually, I was usually happy about it as I didn't know how to act around them and I perceived the situation as uncomfortable.

When it was a closer friend I felt kind of betrayed, suddenly it seemed that for him the friendship wasn't worth anything anymore and that he only used friendship in order to get more, a way to get closer to me and to manipulate me.

Well, I'm not that naive anymore and I also in general don't really believe that men and women can be best friends. With some men it is possible to remain just friends, but these are rare.

This is a woman's position on guys and friendship - I dare say, that a lot of other women feel like this, too - but what about men? Does having a friend who is interested in you make you feel uncomfortable? What if you had dated this girl once? Would you also feel betrayed if she left? Can guys ever develop this kind of amicable feelings for a woman?

elijahBailey · 24th September 2005, 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aimée

but what about men? Does having a friend who is interested in you make you feel uncomfortable?

sure it does, especially if your feelings for her is ziltch. But hey, everyone has feelings and feelings can't be controlled. That's why I just keep a distance with female friends. I can usually tell if the girl wants to move out of the friends zone, and that's when I run for the hills.

25th September 2005, 4:41 AM

ElijahBailey, I am in that boat.......he says his feelings are zilch for me, he knows I am in love with him and despite our troubles that result from this he never runs for the hills.

why does he stick around? i can't figure it for the life of me.
(by the way it's not for sex b/c that stopped)

Aimée · 25th September 2005, 5:18 AM

elijaBailey, thanks for your answer.

Well, we had dated once, so I had hoped that his feelings for me would not be ziltch. I've been blaming his hesitation on the distance and other problems between us, but right now I'm starting to believe that this friendship is just bogus and used to keep me around.