I do not know what to do! I am moving away to a foreign European country very soon and the man that I truly love but who I broke up with has contacted me again. (He knows I am leaving soon.)

I do not know if I should see him before I go! I really loved this man. He was one of only two men who I have ever loved and the love I had for him was that crazy, mad passionate love that comes along so rarely. I certainly never had it before him. If anyone has ever seen the movie "The Notebook" it expresses exactly how I felt for him. It was just one of those unexplainable connections with incredible chemistry and sparks flying everywhere.

Of course, with that kind of passion there was bound to be a lot of intensity, and we argued a lot. We really had absolutely nothing in common and were like night and day. He was constantly upsetting me and making me furious, and I would spend days on end crying and then we would make up and it would go around in circles like that. It was dramatic as anything, and I just could not take the constant drama. When it was bad it was very, very very bad but when it was good it was incredibly wonderful and amazing.

I finally realized that it would never work. I am extremely ambitious and he has no ambition except to get married and pay the bills. He is what I guess you could call a total heathen, and I want someone Catholic who I can share my faith with. He thinks black, I think white. I had to break it off with him and not see him any more. It has been so hard and some days I just cry and get depressed and want to see him so much. I realize that I will never be with this man who is my other half.

I saw him about two months ago for the last time. He tried to see me again, but I yelled at him and told him I did not love him anymore (not true, of course.) He went away, but now he is back to contacting me. I do not know what to do. I want to see him because I am leaving the country with a one way ticket and do not know when I will ever be back. I want to live in Europe eventually as a permanent resident, not just a student, so I may never come back here to live.

Yet I am afraid to see him because I am afraid that seeing him will only make leaving even harder! Of course I would want to have an amazing romantic night with him, and I am afraid that that would just make things a million times harder to leave. And I do not need to be going off to graduate school where I need to seriously perform and have my head on straight with my heart broken to pieces again, longing for him and missing him. I mean, of course I am going to miss him. I cry about this a lot because I WANT to see him again before I leave and I am so hurt that I may never see him again and I know I will cry when I get on the plane....but if it would be harder to leave if I saw him then I do not want to see him!!

I do not know what to do :-( Should I see him or not? What should I do?

[Confused5433]

Hi,
Your situation is exactly like mine. I just ended a very passionate and intense relationship with someone that was not meant to be the one.
My heart always said, yes, give in, he loves you like noone has ever. My mind said, no, STOP, he is only going to make you cry and will never truly make you happy. And it is true, he is not the one....great lover, but not a great partner.
My advice to you is to just let go....maybe write him a letter, get on IM and chat with him or even go as far as to talk to him over the phone. But that's it. It's hard believe me, I'm going through this right now. He will be moving to another state in less than a week, and he still wants to see me, but I can't. I must forget him, he is not the one. Deep down, you might feel the same way, but your feelings for him are so strong they overshawdow the truth. Let go...
move one....erase him from your memory, is the only way to open yourself up for the right person. Just evaluate your feelings and your relationship with him. If you truly believe he is not the one.....then let go. But if deep down you know he could be a better man or has the qualities you are looking for, then maybe....only you know for sure. But remember something, that I learned from my relationship. People don't change, it's ver hard to make anybody change, specially if they don't want to. He is who he is, and if you don't like it....don't take it.
I hope this helps you, best of luck and have a great life in Europe, you'll probably find someone special there.