[the_dude007]

My g/f and I are on a break after a year together - she needed the space and called it. She is great and I miss her dearly after a couple of weeks so far.

We're on NC, just a quick txt / AOL here and there. I'm having a tough time concentrating on work, etc, so I need a bit of "closure" It could be the end of the line, as the break is kind of forced after a couple of tough conversations lead to us discussing the break.

Anyways, I am thinking I need to know where she is at here - and am thinking a call to a friend of hers, who I know well and whose b/f I'm close with still, could be a good call. Or could backfire like it ain't no thing.....

The reason I think I need to is things were very good, and changed quickly. We've known each other for a long time and were friends before, and this was definately not a dating situation getting to know each other - we both made some commitments with actions - not words through the relationship. So for it to change so quickly is crazy - and I wonder if she is mad about something, for instance there were some things I have realized I might have done to affect the change before this happended.

Like it always is in these break / break up situations - it seems your damned if you do and damned if you don't - like if you don't call the girl but she is wondering why you haven't....

I really need to relax and get on with things - even though I would like to try to reconcile - I think it can happen but it won't if I continue to feel so badly and act so nervous.

Thoughts?

[dr strangelove]

You know what..

I have learned if someone wants space you should give it to them. Cause thats what they asked for.

You dont like it..
well you have a few choices
1. ride it out, she will contact you when she is ready

2. Move on to someone that doesnt want space

3. another option while trying to figure out option 1 or 2 is get a relationship book and study it.

ciao

[the_dude007]

thanks for the reply...

I've been reading a couple of books to help me understand the relationship - and I came to a great conclusion from Men are from Mars.... that sometimes women will doubt their situation at times when they are "in their well" and require their relationships to understand this tough time and be supportive.

My g/f is in a tough spot with some stuff, and I took her actions to mean she was done with me - classic guy being defensive move. I think I was the one who asked "do you want to break up?"

I do need to understand and move on. That's for sure. If she changes her mind, then that's great. If not I respect her for saying what was on her mind. Just wish I didn't let her down the one time we had an issue to discuss. That's not being very supportive at all.