[Sailynn]

I've met with my ex-GF a few times, hikes, tennis, dinner, movie, talks, jokes and serious talks.

We walk along and we hold hands. Sometimes we embrace. She's telling me everything that's going on with her job, her family and some information about her, like her therapist, her staying at home, etc. The other day, when we were hiking, she loves smelling my cologne and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

I told her that I was planning to go on vacation to New England and she indicated she'd like to accompany me. I told her, if you're interested, get yourself a room and come on along.

This just doesn't seem like friendship behavior to me. I just think she's taking a little bit at a time and each time, wanting a little more. I'm just being passive, yet still being fun, teasing her, joking with her and sometimes being tender with her. It's hard to tell where this is going right now.

[CantDecide...]

run away, i was in your shoes, and got hit hard, ex did the sane things, and i was left in peices...do Nc for like a week and see were that goes

[Sailynn]

What would you have done differently?

I sent her an email last Thursday about the trip itinerary and I haven't heard a word or received an email. I would at least have the courtesy to return a message, whether positive or negative. This really leaves me all confused and unsure of what to do. I've taken the approach that until I feel something more stable, it's going to be more NC for the future.

The revelation came to me that I'm not getting as good as I'm giving. I realized that I've taken responsibility for some mistakes I may have made in the relationship, but I've yet to hear the same from her. It has to be equal, right?

[fundamental]

Originally Posted by Sailynn

What would you have done differently?

I sent her an email last Thursday about the trip itinerary and I haven't heard a word or received an email. I would at least have the courtesy to return a message, whether positive or negative. This really leaves me all confused and unsure of what to do. I've taken the approach that until I feel something more stable, it's going to be more NC for the future.

The revelation came to me that I'm not getting as good as I'm giving. I realized that I've taken responsibility for some mistakes I may have made in the relationship, but I've yet to hear the same from her. It has to be equal, right?

YES it does.

She is getting what she wants out of the relationship/friendship and you are not.

She could be doing all the things you mention:


We walk along and we hold hands. Sometimes we embrace. She's telling me everything that's going on with her job, her family and some information about her, like her therapist, her staying at home, etc. The other day, when we were hiking, she loves smelling my cologne and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

..and still have her eyes on another man.

[dr strangelove]

Sometimes this forum has the same effect as a radio show once done by a young man named orson welles...

In any case.
You guys seem to be doing well. Emails can get lost, I got sent an email from a friend and I havent seen it yet.
Chances are she didnt get it, a polite calm phone call to check in is a good idea.
I have had this problem before and it can be a misunderstanding and it can be needlessly blown out of proportion...

ciao

[Baz]

Get on with your life. If you are happy and strong enough to have her flit in and out whenever she chooses then carry on. Whatever you do dont push, keep pulling. If she wants you she will tell you. In the meantime act like you are getting on with your life and that your life is fun and rich and you are happy with or without her. Become a confident mystery.

However, be warned, this is a very dangerous game to play if you use it to get her back. The reason being that if she suddenly announces that she has met someone else you will be devastated.

I think the answer is genuinley move on. If she continues to carry on like this then ask her what she wants from you. If she wants a cosy friendship you must turn her down and go NC because she will break your heart. If she wants a new relationship then...?

[Sailynn]

Since I've posted this information, I've been playing it cool.

Lately, all the physical contact, hugs, hand-holding, embracing and eye gazing has been initiated by her. That's just what I would want to happen. She has to want to come back to me and I have to be cool to allow that to happen. Meanwhile, I haven't stopped my life waiting for her to come my way. The fact is, I love her and I show that genuine caring, but I also show that I'm leading a life that makes me confident and happy.

This relationship may very well work out. We're talking and fixing a lot of stuff and it's been very endearing and genuine. So, I really have to be careful, because that level of intimacy, deep revealing talks, draw me to a person.