[smile]

I am still in love with my ex. Its so hard bc these days its like randomly I will remember something that happened when we were together and it seemed like it was yesterday. And they are sweet simple moments but they just feel so real and so intense...so recent.

I just have no idea how to handle this. Is this natural? Is it like me finally trying to get over and live my life while I purge the memories of him? It physically hurts. I mean I woke up at 4am and just cried until about 5:30 and all I could think of was him.

And lately everything is about him. Everyone on the news has his name, everyone I meet knows him or his family, I even got an email from his bestfriend telling me about a change of address. Her and I havent talked since new years and she added me to her list prob just to all in her mailbox. Of course his name was there and all 3 of his emails.

Its like the hardest thing. How do I stop myself from calling him? I want to so badly. I just want him back. I know thats not my choice, he broke it off, the ball is in his court whatever whatever but I just feel like I want to do something.

And why dont I answer when he calls? After these 5 weeks am I ok to talk to him? Or am I just kidding myself? How much time is enough for him to even appreciate our friendship? Maybe talking to him will help me get over him.

Am I deluding myself? Why is this hurting so much right now? What can I do to fix it? HELP!

[NewLee40]

No sweetie, you are not ready to talk to him. You are still in love and have not accepted its over yet. NC is for healing... you aren't healed yet.

[sundrop]

Sounds like to me your feelings are still to much like an open cut, for you to be able to talk to him right now, without spilling your hart out to him.
I don't think it would be wise for you to call him right now. He may say some hurtfull things and the progress you have made will be crushed.
Hang in there. You are doing great. You have made it 5 weeks. Keep it up a little longer.

We all have our set back days, and I am having one today too.... But I know if I call him it would do more harm than good.
I wish I could tell you a quick fix to help, I would share it with all the LS, but unfortunatly, the only advice I can give, is to let yourself deal with the emotions.
Tomorrow will be a better day.

[moon]

If you got broken up with and you are not contacting them, then good for you. But pretty soon NC will just sort of turn into never contacting them again. That's the way it goes. You are right the ball is in his court and that's the way it'll stay---sadly.

It's too bad that you didn't get more closure on this one. But hopefully it'll come in time. Great closure is when maybe they call you out of the blue in six months and tell you how they already got dumped by a few women and feel like such a loser now and you think to yourself---hey this guy is right....he's kind of loser. Why do I need him?

Hope for something like that, but in the mean time just ride it out. No it's totally natural to be completely missing somebody weeks or months later. I'd say a year is a good bench mark for the feelings to really start to drain away into oblivion. Look at your sad break up feelings as the dreaded price of love--one that doesn't go the way you want it to. But seriously, what you are feeling is totally natural and one day, no kidding, you'll look back on these obessive feelings and think why was I torturing myself?? You might even laugh at yourself a bit. Right now you're still sort of in the addiction phase....the unrequented love, regret and mouring cycle. It will end soon seriously. Just know that much is true.

Good luck!

[smile]

Well it was broken up with about a year ago. He contacted me all year long and it just turned weird. We were together thislast 8 months according to everyone but him. So here I am a year later realizing nothing has changed and now I left.

I started the nc I stopped answering his calls. And he did call. Last one was about 2 weeks ago. And yeh its super tough not to answer.

The love isnt qiute unreqiuted considering we were together for 3 1/2 years. It s more like just over. And I am not ready for that yet.

I think its kinda tough bc this decision came as he was high on mushrooms. And I can't really tell you how sober he has been this last year. But when he was with me he was sober. So I think some of it is that needing to feel like you are in charge of your own life in a dumb adolesent boy kinda way. I think he was convinced that I was his "mom" and I made him dull. And ever since that trip he has never been fully himself. His head is messed up, not just about me but about life in general.

And he did get broken up with by a girl. His rebound right after me. She used him, and you know what? It didnt make me feel better. He said I had every right to throw it in his face and laugh but I just couldnt do that. I didnt feel that.

I am angry for what he threw away. I am confused as to what the heck happened this last year, from the break up to now. I am mad that he expects me to be able to be ok with everything and he his friend just bc he wants me to be. I am hurt that he doesnt even seem to understand that I am hurt or why or even that I deserve to be.

But at the same time I am concerned. I am worried about him and about how he is. I am worried about things he has yet to deal with that I know he is repressing. I care about him so much and I worry that he is doing more harm to himself than he realizes.

And so thats where I am. I mean we were best friends for 4 years. We were so close ppl always thought we were married or high school sweethearts and that is tough to let go. He makes a good argument that my not being his friend is ruining something that doesnt come along too often. But neither does a love like we had so I guess that is where we are, at a stalemate of sorts.

I saw my new house, met my new landlord and I am feeling better about things. For now. There is the rational me and the heartbroken me and they are at war inside right now. Its painful.

[AmberAriesMom]

You might try stopping worrying about HIM and worry only about yourself. His problems are his problems and that's that! Don't go back just to make him feel good and happy....even if doing that makes you feel happy. You can't live to make others happy. They will LET YOU!

I realize you're concerned for his happiness because you love him. You may always love him, but that doesn't necessarily mean you have to make a relationship out of it. Unfortunately, with the opposite sex it's next to impossible to just be friends once you've been in a relationship with them unless neither of you want any part of having sex together anymore. Love is love, but relationships are more than that. Think about all the people you love and don't have/haven't had a relationship with. Put him in that group and move on.