[Michael Waldon]

so, i'm trying to move on. I loved her, she didn't love me. We're trying to be friends, but it's kind of tenuous. I think it'll happen, to some extent, just out of pure will; neither of us can cut the cord. In actuality, that's probably the WORST possible thing for both of us, but it's pretty much what we're stuck with. (this is just a summary of my post in Breaking Up)

Basically, here's the scenario. I really want to get over her, at least the relationship aspect. I'm tired of the pain, and i think it'd be better for both of us if i were chasing other girls, romantically. She's kinda-sorta doing the same. Her new-er guy is a complete ******* who likes to taunt me and tell me that she doesn't want to talk to me anymore, even though she'll later tell me that she really DOES. He's basically ****ing with me, and it hurts. It makes it much harder to let go. I want to beat the **** out of him. For frame of reference, he sent me an email with a screenshot of her telling him how she's going to **** him. Yeah, it's like that.

It makes it hard because i still love this girl. But the writing's on the wall that it's not reciprocal, so i'm trying to move on. Now, i have HUGE self esteem issues, despite the fact that my ex is constantly telling me that i can do much better than her, and that i'm AWESOME (i don't think that she'd lie, as we're close, but i still find it hard to believe). She was the first girl i ever dated. I've since slept with other girls, but it meant nothing to me and actually made me feel worse. I have no real interest in them.

HOW do i go about dating? I've never really dated. My ex and i were friends that turned into more. I have no idea how to ACTUALLY find girls and ask them out. I'm okay on the internet, but the internet is only good for seducing slutty girls for random drunken sex, and that's not what i want. I don't want random sex, i want a relationship.


At the same time, do i? Am i READY? How would i know if i'm ready to have a relationship again? I mean, i consider myself a relationship guy.

and why does everyone say "you need to love yourself before anyone else can love you"? This seems like it's some company's advertising campaign bearing down on me. Is it really true? and HOW does one learn to love onesself?

Sorry for the bajillion topics. I've got a lot on my mind.