[OkieCowgirl]

I need some help!! I have been dating my boyfriend for 8 months now, he just got home from the marine corp and enrolled at my college with me. I know this isnt right, but I needed to know, so I accidently ( I promise this) found what was a journal...is was just a plain type notebook. Well, i am upset about what I read, also guilty for reading it, but I need to know what this stuff means... He wrote about how our relationship is nothing like what it was with his ex and he wished he could be in her loving arms...but he loves me..even thou his ex cheated on his for 4 years and had a baby with that man...I have treated my man like he's the best thing on earth, I totally believe I am a good girlfriend, i have been cheated on and hurt in the past and I cant let it happen again, well the other writings that scared me was that he couldnt believe all the beautiful girls on campus and having all that flesh flaunting around him, yet it reads he loves me and that he feels sorry for me cause my my hurtful past but he cant help looking at all this flesh and he would cry and not be the man he is if he cheated...I threw the book on the ground and walked out, he's mad but he said he would have read it too in the first place...He kept reassurig me...did you not see it says I love you?? I am so confused...he never tells me how he feels and i found it this is fricking journal, Am I in a doomed- to fail relationship??? Please help me,I am really upset...

[RecordProducer]

It sounds like he loves you but isn't in love with you.The girls on the campus don't matter. TForget that part. Even the ex doesn't matter, but the nostalgia he feels towards being madly in love does matter, because it indicates that he is not madly in love with you. But he may realize later that he is.
I don't know why, but I have the feeling that he wanted you to find the journal...

[SoftDrink]

is he by any chance a religious person? all this talk of flaunting flesh and whatnot...

i don't know...i don't think it's unusual for guys to look and even be tempted. he says he does not believe in cheating on you, that's really what matters.

if he hadn't written it, they would still be his feelings. the only difference is now you have to know about it too.

i'm with RP, i think he wanted you to read it too.

find out why.

[HokeyReligions]

My first thought was that he wanted you to find it and read it too. It sounds like he is not really over his ex and that he cares for you, but maybe you are a rebound?

As for looking at others -- well, that's normal especially since he's been away for a while. He may need to not be tied to one person for a while until he is completely over his ex but he's sensitive to your feelings and also doesn't want to lose you. He may not know what he wants. It's probably not his ex he misses -- but the closeness and comfort level that they shared and has not yet reached with you. That's typical too and very confusing for him.

Take your relationship slow and keep communications open -- tell him that if he needs to talk with you about his feelings for his ex, or his feelings about what is going on around him now to talk with you and not leave his journal around.