Ya know, here I am, an alright/average-looking gal...not ugly, but not totally gorgeous.....who's concerned about him staring at or meeting hot girls and wanting to date them or whatever (starting some sort of emotional relationship or something, ya know)....
and apparently I should ALSO be concerned about girls who arent attractive at all!!! We were in the car a few days ago, and he was totally staring at some girl walking by!!! She didnt have a good/hot body, or an attractive face.....but he was watching her the whole time.
I called him on it, and he tried to lie about it. Then I said something like she was ugly, and he said yeah, her face was...I said something like, you arent saying that her body was ugly too...and he said, b/c it wasnt.
I said that she's a lot bigger than me, obviously doesnt work out or eat right.....do you want me to be fat like that??! He said no, he likes my body
He apologized for being an a$$ and checking her out....I was trying to explain that if she was hotter than me, then I would kind of expect it, but she wasnt, and that it kinda tells me that I should be cautious of girls that are uglier than me!
I just now remembered that this is the second time he's checked out girls that are bigger than me (in front of me).
Here I am keeping my body looking good (i'm 5'6 @ 110-112lbs, toned/muscular), and he's looking at girls like that! I was insecure about really hot girls, but now I am about any decent or ugly-looking ones, apparently his standards arent very high.....and it doesnt feel good.
I know that everyone has different tastes, but thats not what I'm talking about here....I dont really know what I'm looking for by posting this. Maybe just venting....maybe looking for some support....maybe some input from guys about looking at girls....whatever
Kat, you're gorgeous, for one thing. And hilarious. And sweet. You don't have anything to worry about.
Number two, even when I am dating a smokin' hot guy, I still check out EVERY single other guy - young, old, short, tall, skinny, fat, full head of hair, bald, black, white...you get the idea (but not so that he can tell I'm looking). I love men, I just love looking at them, seeing what each one has to offer (LOL!). But just because I look doesn't mean I'll ever touch. And neither will your BF.
You have so many amazing qualities. Don't let insecurity take over!!
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First of all... what'cha talking about Kat? You're beautiful! Sheesh!
IMO your BF is getting more of a kick out of your reaction then he actually is in looking...
An example (from my BF) We were out last weekend and there was a tent set up for Hooters... so it was cold outside and the Hooters Girls working this event were in running pants and warm up jackets... my BF says to me "I'm going to go and ask why they aren't wearing less" I was like "Okay cool, get me a beer while you're there" Then he said "You should be a hooters girl" I said "Okay yeah, actually I was thinking about stripping more money in it..." he looked at me like this >> Then he said "Hell no you're not!"
I try to never give him any satisfaction in things like that... it's always all okay in a Guys mind to look (and honestly I don't care if my BF looks as long as he isn't drooling ha!) BUT OMG let them see another Guy looking at YOU that way, and they are so offended!
You're gorgeous Kat, don't sweat it
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You're very pretty, and I agree with the others. He's either trying to get a reaction out of you, or it's harmless. I check out most guys, even ugly ones, and I'm completely in love with my boyfriend and would never cheat on him.
You have to decide which of these two factors is likely true in this case.
well, thank you for the compliments....but theyre making me uncomfortable While they are very sweet, I was trying not to go there....
So....I see what ya'll are saying. And in theory, I know its true about getting a reaction, and that everyone looks at other people. But he was staring for an awfully long time, and its just not nice!!!
When we were discussing it, I asked him how he'd feel if I was staring that long at some guys crotch right in front of him...he got the point, and said it was an a$$ thing to do
I guess the whole thing is insecurity based on the fact that I dont really trust him to begin with....and I imagine someone starting a relationship with someone better/hotter than me....but apparently he could be attracted to ANYone, and that worries me.
Although, I see what ya'll are saying.....I'm just going to have to get over it I guess, and trust him, but I dont know how to do that
and yes, she had weird floppy t!ts....didnt look like she works out or anything....and he always says how much he loves legs...LIAR!!
(really, he does have problems telling the truth about things)
Last edited by clandestinidad; 26th August 2005 at 7:41 PM..
Something you have to understand. Men like to look at big breasts, even on unattractive women. Does that mean he'd even consider dumping you for her? No way. It's just part of the male psyche. If you are out with a buddy and the most hideous woman walks by, but she's got a huge rack, you nudge him and make the big boobs cupping gesture. It's just how we work. It doesn't even mean we like her breasts, just that we notice them.
Well, beauty is pretty relative. I've known guys who've dumped their girlfriends for "hotter" girls, even though, to me and many other people, their exes looked much prettier. And, it did seem to be mainly based on looks - the guy would say, "Yeah, I like my gf, but Mindy is sooo hot." I've also seen magazines trash celebs' dates, saying things like, "so and so cheats on his wife with a plain mistress," and the plain mistress looks sooo much better than the wife to me! Maybe your bf just had a strange attraction to this girl, and was agreeing with you to appease you. I've had the strangest attraction to guys who definitely weren't what I'd consider handsome or what I'd think the norm would consider handsome. It's just so relative. I don't want to worry you or anything - that's just my honest opinion.
He means that only mature people will see past the facade and look for the inner beauty. Immature people will never grow up enough to want to know a person if they're not HOT.
hey Kat, I check out women all the time. I don't mean ugly ones. But what you brand as 'ugly' may pass as 'ain't that bad' to your b/f. My attraction is not limited to a certain body type, a certain boob size, nor a certain type of face. I can as easily find myself attracted to <tall, slightly oversized, average face> as much as <short, slim, average face>. Look at it this way, if beauty is limited to a very narrow spectrum, then a lot of women would've thrown in the towel a long time ago
But, seriously, what I'm sayin' is.... I look cos I'm a guy nothin' else, really......
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You exist, that's enough 
Then he said "Hell no you're not!" 
While they are very sweet, I was trying not to go there....
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