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Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

Old 25th August 2005, 1:36 AM   #1
Candy Cane
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What a Fool I Am.

Well, he sent me presents. In the mail. He had called a few times but I ignored him for weeks. So, he sends me a couple presents to "thank" me for helping him out with some business transaction awhile ago. He aslo sent me an email asking if I would be interested in looking at some pictures of him and his little girl.

So...I send him an email telling him that the gifts were very considerate but that I hadn't changed my position. He could send the pictures if he wanted but that I did not wish to be contacted if he planned on dating other people and if he could not give me the respect that I deserved in our relationship. He sent the pictures but did not reply to the email.

I'm terribly upset. I feel like I should have just continued to ignore him. Everybody feel free to tell me what a fool I am. It's like I totally set myself up for rejection...again.
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Old 25th August 2005, 1:42 AM   #2
Pyro
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Hi Candy Cane

While it wasn't the best idea to communicate with him, it was also good that you let him know how you truly felt. You told him that you have not changed your position and that is good. Leave it at that. Now that he knows how you feel, ignore him completely IMHO.
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Old 25th August 2005, 1:45 AM   #3
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You have no idea how close I was to calling him and asking "why" he didn't respond to the email.
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Old 25th August 2005, 1:47 AM   #4
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I am sure he got the email and the hint. Consider this a blessing because most people will just continue to contact the other person, even after they were told not to.
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Old 25th August 2005, 1:50 AM   #5
Candy Cane
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But this means that he wants to date other people. I take that as not caring about me at all. It's horrifying to me. I can't understand how he can just abandon me. You spend so much time with a person and they just leave you...like that. I feel so devistated.
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Old 25th August 2005, 1:56 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally posted by Candy Cane
But this means that he wants to date other people. I take that as not caring about me at all. It's horrifying to me. I can't understand how he can just abandon me. You spend so much time with a person and they just leave you...like that. I feel so devistated.
Story of my life and many others. If he wants to date other people, then so be it. You can't stop him from this. Some people are just that heartless, my ex for example. All that you can really do is to look forward and move on and do what is best for yourself. You will find that through time, you will meet many new wonderful people and it will help you realize that this guy is garbage and he treated you like dirt.
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Old 25th August 2005, 2:02 AM   #7
Candy Cane
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Really? I keep thinking I must have done something wrong. I read all these books...and they tell you that it is your fault if things don't work out. I was too emotionally dependant or I pushed him or I didn't play hard to get enough.

How do I keep from not blaming myself?
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Old 25th August 2005, 2:06 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by Candy Cane
Really? I keep thinking I must have done something wrong. I read all these books...and they tell you that it is your fault if things don't work out. I was too emotionally dependant or I pushed him or I didn't play hard to get enough.

How do I keep from not blaming myself?
I don't know the exact story between you two, but it does take two to fight and it does take two to break-up. Don't put all the blame on yourself. It is just as much his fault . Instead of blaming yourself, use it as a learning experience to prevent yourself from making the same mistakes in the future. using it as a learning tool instead should make you feel better.
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Old 26th August 2005, 7:14 AM   #9
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NO CONTACT.........................for you not for him. turn away and walk. keep your chin up and dont look back. just went through this. its not easy at first.
it can be done. if he's playing games walk away. if he comes back crying and promising..............at that point youll have a clear head to look at the situation.
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Old 28th August 2005, 4:01 AM   #10
Candy Cane
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Quote:
Originally posted by hoppy28
NO CONTACT.........................for you not for him. turn away and walk. keep your chin up and dont look back. just went through this. its not easy at first.
it can be done. if he's playing games walk away. if he comes back crying and promising..............at that point youll have a clear head to look at the situation.
Thanks Hoppy. I just want you to know that I come back and read your note daily. It keeps me strong.
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Old 28th August 2005, 4:08 AM   #11
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you need to be in control

just beieve in youreslf. You are, of course, not a fool at all. Just believe it and act accordingly.
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Old 28th August 2005, 11:54 AM   #12
hoppy28
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walking away is very tough............i admit its one of the hardest things ive ever had to face. loveing someone and not being loved back is a horrable feeling.

what doesnt kill us only makes us stronger...........
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