Fear of FAT

Jolene · 24th August 2005, 11:44 AM

After preganancy and childbirth, how did you (to the guys) or how did your husband (to the gals) handle the fact that the mother's body is not the same and may never be again. Specifically, as it relates to the obvious weight gain that is usually temporary but significant for up to a one year period.

I have one child and I am actually even smaller now than I was prior to having a child, but I was not married and did not have to worry about how big I got during the pregnancy. I tried to maintain as much control over it as I could, but still...it happened. When I look back at how big I got, I shudder to think it could happen like that again with my fiancé when we have another child.

I think all men like to make you believe it doesn't matter, but at least half of them are revolted at the thought of the weight gain. Am I wrong?

Merin · 24th August 2005, 11:58 AM

When I was pregnant both times, I gained right around 20 lbs with both my little people...
BUT one of my babies were 8lbs Babies...

Being small anyway, I looked more like I had a basketball under my shirt, but didn't really begin to show until I was about 5 months along... and I can honestly say my babies Dad didn't mind at all that I was getting bigger... in fact we had amazing sex when I was pregnant....

I lost all my baby wieght almost right away, and because I breast fed, lost even more rapidly...

Jolene · 24th August 2005, 12:04 PM

Quote:

I lost all my baby wieght almost right away, and because I breast fed, lost even more rapidly...

I guess my problem was that I didn't breastfeed long enough. I was pretty lucky with the weight, and like you, most of it dropped off within the first two weeks. It's just that I was left with a good 15 pounds to linger on, and it took about 8 months to stagger off. But everyone told me I looked like I never even had a baby.

So I guess the real trick is in breastfeeding!

I think I'm worried over nothing. I guess I should start worrying if I get gestational diabetes and gain 60 pounds. That would be a challenge.

Merin · 24th August 2005, 12:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jolene
I guess my problem was that I didn't breastfeed long enough. I was pretty lucky with the weight, and like you, most of it dropped off within the first two weeks. It's just that I was left with a good 15 pounds to linger on, and it took about 8 months to stagger off. But everyone told me I looked like I never even had a baby.

So I guess the real trick is in breastfeeding!

I think I'm worried over nothing. I guess I should start worrying if I get gestational diabetes and gain 60 pounds. That would be a challenge.

LOL Well for me genetics played a big role... but yeah I breastfed both my babies for a year each... this shrinks down the uterus faster and burns calories like mad... all of my baby wieght was gone within 2 weeks... but again i'm sure genetics had a lot to do with that...

It's odd for me now sometimes... LOL both of my girls have long blonde hair while mine is darker although they both look like me in thier face I will have people look like this >>>

when they find out these 2 little people are mine because of how small I am....

Don't worry though Jolene... I guess the thing to keep in mind always is this... you're bringing a new life into the world and with that sometimes comes change... but as long as you love YOURSELF and take good care of YOU then IMO everything else falls into line...

TheDiva · 24th August 2005, 12:27 PM

I am fortunate enough to be married to a man that didn't really care.

I gained 80 pounds with my first child, but there was medical problem there. I also dropped it inside the first 6 weeks without even trying. With #2 and #3 I gained about 20 pounds. I had problems with breastfeeding and had to cut it shorter than I wanted all 3 times. But it does help to burn those calories and drop the weight faster.

I do believe a lot of men do have problems with it, but won't really say it. I mean, who wants to be a moving target for a hormonal woman?

I don't think it really matters to men as much as it does to women though, because pregnancy can make you very insecure about your body at times. We women tend to accentuate the negatives when we don't feel very good about ourselves. So of course, if we feel like a beached whale, we think that is the way he sees us.

Here's a BIG trick is I learned by accident. If you want to eat alot, Get a lot and only eat 1/4- to 1/2 of it and give the rest to to daddy

Make him gain twice the weight and he can't complain about yours.

My husband gained twice as much as I did the last two times. With our first he gained about 20 pounds, he also lost it with me each time. Ain't that SWEET!

Teag · 24th August 2005, 1:59 PM

I gained 70lbs w/ my pregnancy and only lost about 15lbs of it. It took me 2 years to lose 50lbs but that was only b/c of a very stricked diet but since I got off my diet Ive gained 35 of it back.

Like Merin mentions, genetics play a factor in it, my mom & grandmother are both about 40-50lbs over weight. We have thyroid problems which helps us to keep weight on & gain it back fast. I have been lucky enough that my H doesn't care or so he says, he just doesn't want it to get to a point where my health is at risk. I think it bothers me more than it bothers my H.

Moose · 24th August 2005, 3:13 PM

Quote:

After preganancy and childbirth, how did you (to the guys) or how did your husband (to the gals) handle the fact that the mother's body is not the same and may never be again.

I married Mrs. Moose because of who she is and not what she is. She could gain 300 lbs, I would still love every inch of her. I went in to this with that mind set, and I'll never change it.

I don't ever see that happening though, She's 5'7" @ 105lbs now at 39 years old and after 5 children......she's still my little hottie.......

Jolene · 24th August 2005, 3:50 PM

Quote:

I married Mrs. Moose because of who she is and not what she is. She could gain 300 lbs, I would still love every inch of her. I went in to this with that mind set, and I'll never change it.

That's the kind of marriage we don't hear about often enough! I've heard more than one story of ...well, she got fat!!! Meanwhile, the guy is nothing to get excited about. Marriage should not be based on superficial motives and it sounds like you live happily together. Kudos to you!

RecordProducer · 24th August 2005, 7:59 PM

I had twins. When I got out of the hospital I was exactly the same weight as when i got pregnant. Why? Because my sugar level was higher than normal and I had to be on a strict diet. So I wasn't allowed to eat as much as I wanted to. There is only one way to maintain your weight and keep the baby healthy - to eat only healthy food and only in the necessary quantities. The baby doesn't need a lot of food, it actually benefits from a low-fat-low-carb nutrition program.

Blackfrost · 24th August 2005, 9:44 PM

My wife got big too, during the carrying of our daughter - did I care after our daughter was born? No. I was waaayy too tired and frazzled in the first year of getting used to our new family addition, that by the time I looked over and saw my wife again - and wasn't so tired, that my libido had recovered - she had already lost the weight - and we were all over each other again

Cecelius · 25th August 2005, 10:48 AM

I honestly did not care for 5-6 years of the 75-100 lbs. extra that my then wife had put on during the first pregnancy and reaquired during a second. It did irritate me when she was not working any longer and still 3-4 years passed with no progress.

Honestly, I dunno how shallow I am but I know my preferences and from now on (1) I actively discourage having children and (2) if I did, I'd carefully check out the mother in law to see where nature's course will be.