[MattB]

I'm getting ready to propose the my girlfriend.....the love of my life.....but am having some issues at home.

In short, my Mother doesn't like my girlfriend Laura because I met her after graduating college (before starting my masters) and sees her as distracting me from completeing my education. She also doesn't like the idea that she is 19 (I'm 23) and she dropped out of college. I'll admit I wasn't all that pleased with that either, but she was in a program withthe highest drop out rate in the school and she was struggling with some medical problems. However, on her behalf, she is attending real estate school this fall. So basicly my mother is convinced that i'm dating a loser that has no future and will prevent me from fulfilling my dreams. That translates into (in her own words) the two of us not being able to make enough money to buy all the stuff I've ever wanted. How's that for shallow.

I've tried to discuss it with her and convince her that we both have education and our carreer set as a priority, but all she says is that she is convinced in her opinion and she refuses to change it. She even told me that she refuses to get to know Laura and give her any chance because she knows she doesn't like her and won't change the opinion no matter what. This has been quite the source of argument between the two of us until I got to the point I just shut up and stayed quiet. Over the past few months she has settled some, and was even civil and amiable when Laura came to vist before my move. (i'm doing my masters 1000 miles away), and we've managed to have a few conversations about Laura (note: not our relationship) without fighting. So it kinda looks like things are improving.

This is what I'm worried about. I've decided to propose before Christmas. We've been talking about it, and we don't plan on actually getting married until I graduate and have a carreer (two years off). So once we are married we will both have carreers and solid income. I can't wait for this to happen, but I REALLY dread telling my mother about because of her reaction. I don't know how to convince her that we are taking care of education and financial stability first and not just rushing into this.

One part of me says that it's my life and my happiness so I just need to think about myself and what I want, but another part of me says that she has assisted me so much in the past that her wishes should at least have some weight.

Anyone ever go through this? Any suggestions?