Okay here is my thing. I have been married for almost a year. My husbands best friend is extremely gorgeous and he has recently made some comments about how good I look to me. Well I saw him last night, he was over at our house to see my husband. I noticed he kept watching me. I think we are both extremely attracted to each other but I am not positive that he is interested in me. How can I find out? What can I do to see if this a real thing or if I am just feeling this because I want it so bad?

[sburtug03]

Don't go there! Everyone will get hurt in this triangle, whether this be through guilt, heartache, confusion and the loss of a best friend and wife. This is awful behaviour towards your husband of one year! It is all about being selfish.
Whatever you do just be flattered that he finds you attractive. Do you want to be with someone who would have sex with his best friends wife? I hope not.

[Neptune]

Do bear in mind that some men have this ego thing going on within themselves. They are always seeking that which is not available and a challange. They can be a danger to themselves because if they cross the wrong path they may get a load of buckshot up their a$$.

But somehow there seems to be this intuition at work and they know just where to play. But it is a dangerous game. And they like that excitement. Let me just say there will be no apologies after your marriage is wrecked and this ********* is seen for who he is if you should proceed with him.

[LucreziaBorgia]

Why did you marry your H in the first place? How long did you date? Were you happy with him, or did you more or less just agree to marry him because you felt it was the 'right thing' to do? Were you already losing sexual attraction for him by the time you married?

1. How can I find out?
2. What can I do to see if this a real thing or if I am just feeling this because I want it so bad?

1. Ask him privately.
2. Well, it is going to end up being a real affair, but it won't be real love or anything like that.

You will need to think carefully about this. You are standing at the crossroads right now. This affair will either start now, or will end now. If you want it to start, take the steps above. If you want it to end, and you want your marriage to have a shot you will admit what it is going on to your H and ask him to go to marriage counseling with you. I have a feeling what your choice will be, and if I were the betting type I'd have my money down on the affair with the best friend.

If you have been married less than a year and you are already wanting to f*ck someone else, at the very least have the decency to divorce your husband or get an annulment so that he can have a shot at happiness in his life with someone who won't start a lifetime together by wanting to f*ck his best friend behind his back.

[ThumbingMyWay]

Originally posted by LucreziaBorgia
If you have been married less than a year and you are already wanting to f*ck someone else, at the very least have the decency to divorce your husband or get an annulment so that he can have a shot at happiness in his life with someone who won't start a lifetime together by wanting to f*ck his best friend behind his back.

This is exactly what I was going to type....but LB does it so much better....

[whichwayisup]

I noticed he kept watching me. I think we are both extremely attracted to each other but I am not positive that he is interested in me. How can I find out? What can I do to see if this a real thing or if I am just feeling this because I want it so bad?

How would you feel if your husband thought your bestfriend was beautiful, and he was checking her out. Flirting, giving off sexual energy towards her? And he actually TOLD her she was looking good. Then your bestfriend accepted his advances, or was thinking about messing around with him.

I don't know why it matters what this man feels - Period! Should matter more how you feel about your husband, and if you want it that bad, can't you just jump your husband?

Seems maybe you got married too fast or something now is missing from your marriage. Take a step back and see the whole picture...All the what if's and the damage that could happen if you pursue your husband's bestfriend. IS he married as well? Another thing, that friendship will end immediately if you two sleep together. And you can probably kiss your marriage goodbye.

How long have you actually known your husband? Because I"m sure the bestfriend has been around for a while and all of a sudden now you're attracted to him?

Think outside the box and not just about what you want/feel. Your husband and your marriage is a huge part of this choice you're about to make.

[Bryanp]

I agree with the other posters. How sad for your husband that less than 1 year into the marriage his wife wants to screw his best friend. How would you feel if the roles were reversed? Do your husband a big favor and divorce him so he can find someone else who truly loves and respects him and who has a committment to a relationship and marriage because apparently you do not possess any of this qualities. How very sad for him.

[cranium]

I also agree with the other posters. In addition, this guy isn't much of a friend to your H if he is hitting on you; that is not what friends do.

[Cecelius]

Originally posted by Kristin
Re: Developing feelings for my husbands best friend

Then just stop -- that's what you promissed to do when you got married. Stop hiding the ball on this (ie, not being sure why you are doing something)-- you either don't like your husband enough to be with him only or you are not prepared for a true relationship (both of which are perfectly fine reasons). Just dump your husband or give him the opportunity to dump you before you act on it.

[Spectre]

This clinches it, females cant be trusted and im never gettin married, now i gotta worry about them wanting to shag my frickin best friend too? god, whats funny is the total lack of caring this lady has for her husband, she didnt even express any guilt or even ask on how she could AVOID this, she just asked how she can find out if she can bone her HUSBANDS BEST FRIEND, god..do your husband a favor and divorce him, I bet a dog could make him happier and treat him with more respect, which is pathetic

[totallyconfused]

word up on spectre. i am a female and completely agree to his thoughts.

not one cinch of guilt even stated. i was shocked at that.

kristin - WHO CARES IF HE'S INTERESTED. why do you care? YOU ARE MARRIED. do you kno what marriage means? why did you even bother to marry him if you cant even handle a simple flirting from a good looking guy? Take it as flattery and thats it.

you are truly deserving of a mess you will be in if you even think of going for this. for one instant of a moment, stop thinking about your feelings and have some regards in the feelings you will trample over.

the best thing you should do is AVOID all costs of seeing him and just forget about it.

wow you are like completely starting a disaster and walking through it gayly.

and mind you, you arent developing "feelings" for this guy. youre just developing the hopes of feeling his penis.

[reservoirdog1]

Kristin, you're going to do what you're going to do. You haven't indicated that you feel anything's wrong with wanting to explore the possibility a little bit. But, I fear that no amount of lecturing from us on the simple right-and-wrong of things is going to change your mind.

So, I'll appeal to your self interest. If you proceed down this path, it's going to end badly for you, one way or another. Since you have so little respect for your husband already, screwing around on him once and getting away with it will probably set you on a course to do it again. And again. And again. It'll get easier each time -- after all, you'll tell yourself, you're already a cheater. There are no degrees. What will one more random ***kfest matter?

And then, one day, either because you grow a conscience, or your husband's so-called best friend grows one, or because one of your ***kbuddies blabs about it, it will all come crashing down. Your husband will be devastated. He'll confide in his friends and his family about what you did to him. They'll talk amongst themselves. It will get back to your family.

And then... badda-bing! In the eyes of everybody around you, you'll be a lying cheating whore who can't keep her legs together.

Sound farfetched? It ain't. Just ask my ex-wife.

[onlyhuman]

Poor husband, my heart goes out to him.

I really feel this post is a hoax!
I guess taking your vows means nothing, oh its been a year ,thats a long time, must have forgotten.

Agree with all the other posters, and what a gem of a friend the husband has.

Like you really need advice on this Kristin!

[elijahBailey]

Originally posted by Kristin
How can I find out?

you DO NOT want to find out...

My first reaction was that 'oh, this girl is just crushing on this guy', until I read this...

What can I do to see if this a real thing or if I am just feeling this because I want it so bad?

Huh? How can this be a real thing when you're already married??? Your intent is clear as daylight.

Sure, you CAN make it as real as can be, it's not very difficult, ya know, but do your poor husband a favor, divorce him first. I really, really feel sorry for him. And sounds like this guy's subtlely flirting with you? What kind of best friend is that?

[elijahBailey]

Originally posted by onlyhuman
I really feel this post is a hoax!

Maybe not. Shyt like this happens..... but that's where the willpower comes in.