how often to call during LD relationship? Opinions wanted!
so this is the second time the bf and i will be doing the long distnace thing (our second year of college, hence the second time)...how often do u guys in a LD relationship, or just ur opinion, think it is necessary to talk to while apart (or if ur in one right now, how often?) I say everyday....i mean, justl ike 5 minutes at the end of the day. We did talk A LOT last year, but he thinks that we should talk a lot less this year because of grades, etc...any thoughts?
So sorry to hear April.... hope u have found someone else.
I am in a very LDR, he lives in America, i live in Australia... I think it depends on what kinda lives u both have, i mean for me, i like to talk to my man everyday, and its either on the phone or on msn. I find it very hard not to be with him, so i like to have as much contact as possible. Somedays we even talk twice, like before he goes to work which is night time here, and then when he gets home which is morning here.
I guess it depends on what u r both doing and individual needs. I need to hear his voice, i need to know he is ok and had a nice day at work etc etc.
I just love to talk to him i guess. Sometimes we dont have alot to talk about, but at the end of the day, its great knowing he is there for me after i have had a bad day or whatever.
I think you should call as often as your heart summons you to do so. Whenever I can't stand it anymore... I'll go and call him.... usually it's once a week. Other times, we will just talk on IM. I haven't talked to him in almost 2 days and I'm really starting to miss him. LOL. Do what you feel is best.
damn, all of you should be very happy to communicate with your LD relationships that much.
I'm ending my LD relationship due to lack of communication. I was supposed to move to be w/ him, but i'm breaking it off tonight.
i've had it, cause he never calls and when he does it's very short conversations. Be happy you talk that much, and the answer to that question is every day until you can be together, even if it is just for a few minutes.
I'm in a LDR (UK - South Asia) and currently we manage about 4-5 hours per week day mixture of msn and phone. About the same if not more over the weekends. Depends on plans really. It is a lot of time but then if were both together it's time we would be spending together anyway. Plus theres the fact that i never feel compelled to do anything else when i'm chatting with her. She's the only person i've ever met who doesn't irritate me after prolonged periods talking.
What we found was good is talking on the phone whilst the web cams are running. If you both have broadband it really helps as you get to see facial expression with the conversation.
I don't find the cost of calling too bad from the UK. There are plenty of long distance phone companies who offer very good rates. Just call a free phone number, key in a pin then dial the number you want to get to. I've found I can call her almost as cheaply as if she was here in the UK with me. I use www.fntele.com. Since they are UK based you might want to find an american equivalent.
there's also internet calling with Skype and such like... although you might find it testing your patience but it is worth a try.
I've been with my guy for two years (our anniversary is tomorrow...your post just reminded me, LOL!) and we talk every day in the evening for a relatively long time. But, ever so often, we talk every other day for an hour or two. It gives us more reason to appreciate the conversations we do have. Perhaps you'll give it a try?
I wish you all the best of luck!
~MsBlink
__________________
"What's the saying? 'Why do I keep beating myself up with a hammer? Because it feels so good...when I stop.'"
We spoke every day, most days for hours on end. The phone company loved it - big $$$$$. We eventually got together (living) though so it was all worth it.
I've been in a long-distance relationship for nearly 2 years now and I couldn't be happier. I Have learned that, as in ANY relationship, communication is the key. No One can tell you how often you should talk to your significant other. This is something that varies for every couple. I have friends who need to talk to their boyfriends several times a day. That doesn't work for my boyfriend and I. We are both happy talking like 3 times a week and emailing or IMing in between. But I didn't discover this balance from asking people in a forum. We talked about it. We discussed our needs and our schedules and what was important to us. I suggest you do the same, and wish you luck with your relationship.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
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