Forgiveness works! It is often difficult, AND it works!
the text is not originaly mine but, read it . Might help some of you too
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Many thanks!
Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 21st August 2005 at 11:19 AM..
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Originally posted by ww
the text is not originaly mine but, read it .
It should maybe be marked as such then.
Quote:
Might help some of you too
It was really nice reading it. Maybe it should be moved to another forum though as it's a general text about forgiveness which is also needed to solve a lot of other relationship conflicts not only adultery. I rarely roam the other man/other woman forum and I just stumbled over this post by chance.
1. sorry but I don`t know the author
2, no I think is in the right foum, bc as ex OW I feel that all I need to do is to forgive and move on.
Forgive both of us.
i agree with this ww, but i forgave my mm ages ago and told him so. i told him when he profusely apologised (which was another ploy to bed me) that the past was in the past and i was no longer thinking about it and nor need he, for my sake. i also chose to forgive myself for allowing myself to be there and be used.
since then we had friendship which i struggled with, but did not tell him so.
however, when his behaviour towards me continued to be extremely rude, i did feel angry again. i feel i can forgive again. i also feel its neccessary to be angry first in order to leave the situation alone.
there is such a thing as premature forgiveness i believe, in which one forgives before one is ready, thinking that forgiveness is the better course of action, but it does not give them time to move on. i am not sure about this though, just a thought more than anything.
it makes me angry on behalf of the ow i see in here who are brainwashed by their mm's lies, and i feel they need to get angry at their mm before they can move on.
Good article...and it's true, once you make that conscious effort to forgive that person; it's like a huge burden is lifted. I am going to try that and hopefully it will let go of some of my anger and guilt towards my MM.
Why are you still obsessed with your ex-MM and the affair? Now before you say you are not obsessed, please take a deep look in your heart and admit yourself how you really feel.
You sound like you're not over him. It seems to me that your heart still skips a beat when you see him and that a single day doesn't go by without you thinking of him. And you're married to another man. That's not fair to your husband. But I am not here to preach you. I think you should stop engaging your mind in any subject that is even remotely related to your ex-MM. You're destroying yourself.
The pain will fade out with time and all you need to do is wait, but in the meanwhile don't warm up the leftovers of the feelings you have for him. It's not love anymore; it's just the pain draining from your heart. The best you can do is step on it and bury it.
You never even mention your husband. Are you in love with him at all?
Don't answer me, answer yourself!
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