Help anyone.

I recently met a very attractive police man after a small car incident. We had a great conversation and flirted modestly with one another. Since I didn't see a wedding ring on his finger at the time, I was hoping I'd get to see him again.

I did see him a couple days later, while he was on duty, and I asked him if he was seeing anyone. He very hesitantly said yes, he had a girlfriend for three years and said things were going pretty well (but didn't sound too enthusiastic). I joked for him to call me when he broke up with her, and made mention of my plans for the weekend during our conversation(He was supposed to be on duty all weekend).

The next night he had me paged at the bar I told him I was going to. He switched his shift so he could see me, and his friend (also a cop)said he wouldn't shut up about me all week. I was very drunk, but he still bought me a couple of drinks and also offered to give me a ride home. I accepted and we ended up making out in his car in the parking lot after he planted this huge kiss on me. I melted.

I felt as though things were fishy about him not calling from home ever, so I asked some friends around town about him. I found out he is married to another police officer, who is now pregnant and he has two other kids, also. I feel horrible and cheap for acting like such a homewrecker!

He has called me about twenty time during the last week and the day after that night at the bar he called seven times alone to "find out how I was doing" and to "appologize for being such a jerk the night before". He was only calling me from his work car obviously because of his family life.

I feel very bad for his wife and children. I have the option to say something but I don't want to hurt anyone and I really don't need the entire police force on my ass either!!!! How should I handle this situation?

[Draconis]

(I omitted the large quote of the message to which I am responding)

Okay, let me start out by saying that your "friend" the police officer sounds like a real ƒucker. He lies to you, he harasses you, he neglects his wife and children, he takes advantage of you...and he's supposed to be a police officer! I'll just take the moment to say that the police in this country (or at least my city) SUCK THE BIG ONE. They discriminate, they abuse their power, they're horrible role models, and I think I have met exactly one that failed to impress me with his sheer bigotry or idiocy by his actions. Yeah, it would be one.

You could say I have a problem with the police. Now I'm sure there are great policemen out there. Truly astoundingly devoted models of policemanship. Fine. I just haven't had the pleasure of meeting any, and all I can asy is I wish that those I have had the DISpleasure of meeting were a little better.

Alright already. I'll shut up. As for Venus's problem. I'm sorry to say that there may be no easy asnwer in sight. The thing you defiitely shouldn't do is get involved in this guy's life. Don't call him back, don't call his wife, don't try to explain the situation to him or why you don't think it will work. Ignore him. Eventually his obsession will end, at least when he finds another target. While this may seem to be a laborious and (perhaps) irresponsible course of action, allow me to explain my reasoning.

Okay, first, as you observed, you don't want the entire police department up your ass. I think I can speak personally when I say that this if you piss this guy off royally, he has the easy capability to make your life miserable. So you have to try to avoid him, because obviously you don't want to be involved with this guy. So you have to try to get out of his life while pissing him off as little as possible. While it may mean that you have to live for a while longer through constat calls, ignoring him will be the best way to do it. Telling him directly will (I would say) piss him off. Royally. This is bad.

As for trying to tell his wife what a horrible cheating man she is married to...well, on principle I don't get involved in these kind of basic marital things. To be frank, it isn't my business and I don't want to butt in where my interference is only going to aggravate things. In all likelihood, she already knows, and if she doesn't it's probably through denial or something similar. This guy doesn't sound smart or prudent enough to have escaped detection by his wife. Plus, of course, ruining his marriage (if by some fluke he doesn't know) would piss him off. Bad.

OK, 'nuff said. THe moral of this overly long response? Don't ƒuck with the police, they will ƒuck you back. And if one of them starts ƒucking with you, just get out of it as nonconfrontationally as possible.

As usual, if anyone wants to talk to me more on this topic (especially police abuses), you can e-mail me or post a response.

(Draconis)

Thanks for the advice Draconis! I saw him last night while I was out with friends and he appologized to me for lying and so on. I hate to admit it, but I lectured him for a good half hour about his behaviour. He was practically on his knees saying sorry and he seemed very sincere.

I told him that I did not want to get into this situation and he said that he hopes I can be his friend because he thought I was a really fun person. I told him that's all we will be, and if I ever hear of him cheating again I would kick his ass to the moon.

He said he had never cheated on his wife before and that for some strange reason he was drawn to me. I could understand what he was saying because I felt very drawn to him too. But, I took his hand, pointed at his wedding band (which he decided to wear that day), and said "until death do us part, and you're not dead yet".

(I omitted the large quote of the message to which I am responding)

Okay, let me start out by saying that your "friend" the police officer sounds like a real ƒucker. He lies to you, he harasses you, he neglects his wife and children, he takes advantage of you...and he's supposed to be a police officer! I'll just take the moment to say that the police in this country (or at least my city) SUCK THE BIG ONE. They discriminate, they abuse their power, they're horrible role models, and I think I have met exactly one that failed to impress me with his sheer bigotry or idiocy by his actions. Yeah, it would be one. You could say I have a problem with the police. Now I'm sure there are great policemen out there. Truly astoundingly devoted models of policemanship. Fine. I just haven't had the pleasure of meeting any, and all I can asy is I wish that those I have had the DISpleasure of meeting were a little better.

Alright already. I'll shut up. As for Venus's problem. I'm sorry to say that there may be no easy asnwer in sight. The thing you defiitely shouldn't do is get involved in this guy's life. Don't call him back, don't call his wife, don't try to explain the situation to him or why you don't think it will work. Ignore him. Eventually his obsession will end, at least when he finds another target. While this may seem to be a laborious and (perhaps) irresponsible course of action, allow me to explain my reasoning. Okay, first, as you observed, you don't want the entire police department up your ass. I think I can speak personally when I say that this if you piss this guy off royally, he has the easy capability to make your life miserable. So you have to try to avoid him, because obviously you don't want to be involved with this guy. So you have to try to get out of his life while pissing him off as little as possible. While it may mean that you have to live for a while longer through constat calls, ignoring him will be the best way to do it. Telling him directly will (I would say) piss him off. Royally. This is bad. As for trying to tell his wife what a horrible cheating man she is married to...well, on principle I don't get involved in these kind of basic marital things. To be frank, it isn't my business and I don't want to butt in where my interference is only going to aggravate things. In all likelihood, she already knows, and if she doesn't it's probably through denial or something similar. This guy doesn't sound smart or prudent enough to have escaped detection by his wife. Plus, of course, ruining his marriage (if by some fluke he doesn't know) would piss him off. Bad. OK, 'nuff said. THe moral of this overly long response? Don't ƒuck with the police, they will ƒuck you back. And if one of them starts ƒucking with you, just get out of it as nonconfrontationally as possible. As usual, if anyone wants to talk to me more on this topic (especially police abuses), you can e-mail me or post a response.

(Draconis)