My boyfriend and I have been together on and off for about 5 years. I work out a lot and watch what I eat to stay in shape and looking good. I go out and drink, but not more than a couple of times a week. He, on the other hand, drinks almost every night and doesn't do any physical activity. On top of it, he eats horribly. All of these habits has led to a growing gut that I used to find cute and endearing and is now becoming a little much for me. The worst part about it is when we got together her was athletic and more in shape than me. I am a little frustrated.
We are in our mid and late 20s and will most-likely get married someday. Is this a preview of what's to come?
Are there any ways I can drop subtle hints or let him know that I would like him to take good care of himself, like I do of myself? I need help!
Its not that looks are everything, but I want both of us to feel good...
What's his build like? Height, weight, pant size??
I myself have actually always preferred a little bit of a gut (but not FAT) on a guy over the 6 pack. Don't know why...
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...and I feel like I'm naked in front of a crowd,
'cause these words are my diary screaming out loud,
and I know that you'll use them however you want to...
As the previous owner of a big gut for many years, and now the new owner of a six pack - the change in your boyfriend is going to have to come from inside of him. My wife has always remained in amazing shape, while I tried out several different shapes over the years. She would hint and make comments, but all they did was add to my depression of being fat, and hence I would eat and drink more to medicate my fat depression.
In order for someone to undertake the huge amount of work it takes to lose 40-60-etc lbs, they really have to find an inner motivation that they can harness, to drive them to succeed at that goal. It took me a long time to find my motivation, but once I found it, the transformation started happening: along with a complete change of eating and lifestyle.
The good thing with your boyfriend, is that he was in shape at one point, like I had been when I met my wife - hence he can't throw around the excuse baggage of "my body will never be in good shape because of blah blah blah blah excuse excuse excuse"
Talk to to him about his work, or future thoughts, and see if something is depressing or eating away at him. I know that that was a problem/excuse that I used for years, for eating badly and drinking more than I should.
I'm not much into appearances to be honest. I work out alot and have a nice body, and after many years of work i have 6 pack finally. I've had girlfriends that were alittle on the chunky side and didn't care.,
If you love him his gut shouldn't bother you, want him to get into shape for his health not just because he'll look better.
It does matter... hate to say it, but I have realized that if a boy (man) is too big for me, he's too big for me. I don't like big boys. I like skinny boys. That's all there is to it.
Try to eat better as a couple and work out together, or at the very least suggest it. I broke up with my last ex because he was too big for me, but he'll never know it.
I find the petite Girls love their guys to be alittle on the big side.
Obviously there are limits but i find this to be generally true. Nick carter chubby = good, Fat joe = Bad
Overall, appearances are not super-important to me. However, there is something incredibly sexy about a guy who takes care of his body. And since he used to be so athletic, its just an adjustment for me. In addition, heart disease runs in his family and I know he dislikes being out of shape, too. I hope to be a motivation for him to get back into shape, rather than contribute to any sadness he may feel. I want him to feel good.
He brought it up this weekend and is planning to join the gym with his roommate, who works out religiously and will be a good motivation for him. He used to belong to the same gym as I do, and we used to work out together, but he moved out of my neighborhood, so while we would like to work out together, it isn't convenient.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
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