what is my problem? I find myself liking the guys that i know like me! I don't usually have an interest in any guys until I have found out that they like me.

For instance.... If I see a guy i think is attractive, i don't even usually like them unless i find out that they are interested. If they show a slight 'indirect' attraction towrards me then i start really crushing on them.

Or... another instance... even if i have no attraction to a guy (he's still good looking though) if he shows interest then i start liking him for no aparent reason other than the fact that "I can have him" type of thing.

Is this normal? Am I shallow? Am I naive? SHould I seek help? I don't have a problem finding men, but i want a challenge.... I want to be the one who likes him and chases him.... but it's always the other way around.

[Mr.positive]

I think you just like attention. You might not really be into the person.

[zonarosa]

I really don't see the problem here. A guy likes you and you like him. And you say lots of guys seem to like you. Splendid! I wish I had your problem.

Unless you're saying that you like a guy only because he likes you. And then you fall out of like when you discover more about him. Again, I don't see the problem, since you seem to have willing suitors next in line. Being the chaser is no fun.

(I sometimes have the problem that I don't like a guy until he starts to withdraw his attention. How's that grab you?)

[AndrewJ]

Chase someone completely out of you league then.

You sound a bit funny

[LucreziaBorgia]

I find myself liking the guys that i know like me!

It isn't unusual to find oneself crushing on people for no other reason than how well they suit and feed your ego needs (wherein the guy himself can be pretty much interchangeable). Someone wants you, and it is that 'wanting you' part that makes it so intense - regardless of who is doing the 'wanting you'.

It is the attraction itself that you intrigues you - not unusual at all. Bad for the guys sometimes, because their primary worth to you is how well they make you feel about yourself. Are your relationships are generally intense and short term? You may well be one of those people who have a subconscious fear of rejection, and who crave the approval of others on many levels, and in terms of love and sex it manifests itself in this way. Your comfort level and confidence goes up as soon as you realize that someone wants you, and since you aren't likely to get rejected - you give yourself the green light to go ahead. "Because you can" - unfortunately, in the back of your mind lies the small question... "would it still have happened if it were ME doing the chasing and not him?" Since you can't answer that, it drives you to find out for yourself, hence the need to be the one who initiates the 'chase'. You can run fast enough for someone to catch you, but can you catch someone you are running after?

How to turn it to more of a chase? You'll have to identify other things that attract you, and work a little below the 'wanting you' priority to see if other attractions are as strong to you as the 'wanting you' one. It is something internally that will have to shift inside you, rather than 'finding the right guy'.