can anybody give me some swift advice regarding sending a final email?
i need some advice, pretty quickly as i am in danger of doing something rash.
xmm has been barely talking to me the last few days, sometimes not even saying goodbye at the end of a conversation.
he had no reason at all to do this, as we were being friends, nothing more, i did not give him any reason to suspect that i still had any feelings for him, i was friendly and polite.
even if he were finding me irritating to talk to, he could have answered and been polite and then blocked me alot of the time, theres no need for rudeness at all.
anyway, i just said something to him and he then just went offline, with no reply at all!
well, i feel really hurt about it, and angry!!!!!
i feel like sending him an email. i am intending to leave this alone but feel i just want to say something about it, i know he would never reply, but i just am so angry i want to have the final say.
should i????
Vent it out, do a draft but do NOT put his email addy in the TO field. DO not send it...
You need to get to the point of just not caring enough to bother. Change your ways of thinking towards him and how to handle him in general. Don't react, don't care. Don't do anything.
It is just isn't worth it...Even if you send that off, 10 bucks says that you'll sit and worry...Then regret it and then worry even more.
just out of interest, any ideas why he would just ignore me like that? i mean why sign in in the first place, why not just not ever sign in and block me before i speak to him rather than afterwards?
be as harsh as you like, i probably need it.
thanks new wife,
i think the reluctance to delete him is just wanting to know what he is playing at, will he unblock me tommorrow? if so, why?
i have too many questions, but i guess i can apply your answers to each and every one of them, and i like them.
do you think perhaps it was all a plan, to be friends with me so that he could then just rid of me? but even that doesnt make sense as to why he would wait for me to speak, before ignoring me. perhaps he was trying to make it clear as possible that he was no longer speaking to me, and just straightforward blocking would not have done that?
maybe, he is trying to get a reaction out of me? maybe the whole a for him was about knowing that i wanted him and he thrives on getting reactions, which he has not done for a while, whilst i have been friendly.
i must confess that a little while ago i sent him a nasty email, telling him exactly why i did not find him attractive any longer and that all i wanted was a friendship, this was, of course another reaction. since then we have been very very friendly, like as though we are friends friendly, 'til this past week, that is.
he also recently has made it very public that we are friends.
i know new wife, that i should forget the questions and work on myself, i can tell you that i work on myself alot, in fact pretty much all of my time is dedicated to that after falling into the pit of depression just before meeting xmm. however right now, i am obsessing with these questions, i really dont mind how harsh anyone is with the truth as they see it.
i sure as h3ll cannot get any perspective at the moment.
I don't know what he's doing but a suggestion would be maybe he is having more than friend feelings and is just shutting up before he says something to that affect? I know before I have done that after a nc not in a mean way or hanging up without saying bye but I would just start being quiet and acting weird. Sometimes you get mad at yourself for not being able to stop something that you are trying really hard to stop and you just shut down the MM gets pissed at himself and it is perceived that they are mad at the OW or something they said or did.
I remeber One time after I swore up and down to myself i would not let it get physical again, it eventually did and I was so pissed at myself for doing that to me and her .... I couldn't talk to her for a couple days not cause I didn't want to or was mad at her but I was just pissed I had no self control, of course she understandably thought I was mad at her and got maed at me but it wasn't that at all. Not sure if that has anything to do with what your mm is doing.
Don't send him anything. Quit the cycle, quit cold turkey. That's what I am doing, that's why I haven't been around for a little while. Just tell yourself you've had it up to here, that you are done. And keep him blocked, too.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
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