[Tuesday]

Right, i know I'm not going to be popular after this one but I have just performed a fabulous demonstration of the phrase curiosity killed the cat. Any guesses?

Ok, its the worst thing. I read my boyfriends e-mails last night and quelle surprise found two hideous msgs. Firstly just to fill you in, he is from australia and i'm from the UK but he lives here and we've been dating for around 5 months. He recently moved to a town about half an hour from me and I was pretty devestated but realise he is travelling and needs to move on with his life.

But this is what makes me mad, I said to him lets split up cos I hated the idea of tying him down when he is supposed to be experiencing the world etc, I was the one who saw it for what it was and admitted it was better we called it a day and he literally begged me not to end it and told me he's fallen in love with me.

So last night I'm checking his e-mails for him over the phone and there's one from his best mate and he's like 'dont read that one-just promise me you won't'. Er... so I did. When we got off the phone. And it said he couldn't wait to move away from me so he could have sex with other girls and that I'm so in love with him and he wishes I'd just get over it. Then the icing on the cake I had a rifle through his sent items and there's one to his ex saying he misses her!

Well I was nearly sick. I rang him immediately and told him I'd done it and then he went off on an rant about trust being broken and me not being what he thought I was and I didn't really have a leg to stand on and now it's over. What do i do now?!

[LucreziaBorgia]

I said to him lets split up cos I hated the idea of tying him down when he is supposed to be experiencing the world

Well, isn't that what this is?

it said he couldn't wait to move away from me so he could have sex with other girls

I'm not sure why you would be angry, when you broke up with him so that he could have opportunities like that. What sort of trust was broken? He may have told you that he had fallen in love with you, but he was probably emotionally vulnerable at having been dumped like that and was trying to prevent you from ending the relationship. Once it was over, I guess he decided that perhaps 'experiencing the world' was a good idea after all and he took measures to make himself look like less of a chump to his friend.

I can understand why this would burn you:

and that I'm so in love with him and he wishes I'd just get over it.

But I expect that's a matter of trying to keep his pride intact. No guy wants to admit to his best buddy that he has been dumped and hurt. Heck, even the whole 'sleeping around' thing is probably part of it - a defense mechanism (although now that he has been dumped he has every right to sleep with whom he wants).

The bottom line is that you dumped him, and its over. Trust or not - he is free to do what he likes, and say what he likes now. There really is no obligation of trust between exes. Perhaps it would be best if the two of you severed contact and went your separate ways.

[lindya]

Didn't he ever read Bluebeard as a child? I wouldn't normally snoop at other people's emails, but placed in that situation I don't think I could have resisted either....and under the circumstances you've outlined, I wouldn't bother feeling guilty about it.

After writing an email like that to his mate, he's not really in a position to rant about trust and try to adopt any moral high ground. Nonetheless, he's decided to do just that - possibly because he's mortified at having been caught bull-****ting.
Nothing to do except begin the process of getting over the disappointment he turned out to be. Sorry Just be glad you didn't waste TOO much of your time over him (though I know 5 months probably seems like a long time just now).

[whichwayisup]

So last night I'm checking his e-mails for him over the phone and there's one from his best mate and he's like 'dont read that one-just promise me you won't'. Er... so I did. When we got off the phone. And it said he couldn't wait to move away from me so he could have sex with other girls and that I'm so in love with him and he wishes I'd just get over it. Then the icing on the cake I had a rifle through his sent items and there's one to his ex saying he misses her!

Well I was nearly sick. I rang him immediately and told him I'd done it and then he went off on an rant about trust being broken and me not being what he thought I was and I didn't really have a leg to stand on and now it's over. What do i do now?!

Yeah, he asked for it though. I'm not going to bash you as it's not like you were "snooping." He asked you to read his email for him. He was STUPID to leave that email out in the open for you to read. OFCOURSE HE KNEW you were going to read it. By saying "Don't read it" is just asking you to read it!

Can I ask you something??? Honestly...If he had not mentioned that, would you have snooped anyway? Or just read to him what he wanted and then closed down the email?

I have NO clue why he would tell his buddy that, maybe to show off and play down his feelings for you. Still isn't nice and I'm sure it hurts very much. He did a very ********* thing and should just own up to it.

Another twist is he set that up for you to find, the easy way of ending it - So he wouldn't have to say it outloud. don't know, I could be wrong. Either way, move on, try to deal with the hurt, keep posting here and just know when the time comes a new guy will be better suited for you and not long distance either!

Good luck and keep your mind busy! Go out with friends and MAKE yourself not think of him!

[ck_guy02]

Did you ever think that he WANTED you to see the emails?????


Maybe he is playing a head game with you. If he had all that stuff in his email.. why on earth would he give you access and only ask you to read certain ones????


He is playing you...

[lindya]

Originally posted by ck_guy02
Did you ever think that he WANTED you to see the emails?????

Sounds quite plausible. Actually I can imagine doing that myself at around, say, age 15 as a "see if I care that you dumped me - and, ho ho ho, look what I'm telling other people about it" measure.

How old is your backpacker guy?