my wife is threatening to take my baby if we get divorced
my wife is threatening to take my baby if we get divorced what do I do to keep my baby? I love him with all my heart, all night when I am at work I worrie about him. I dont wana get divorced but she wont do any thinng around the house, all she does is watch tv all day. what do I do please help me
Call a lawyer, set up an appointment and find out what your options are should you divorce. It may well be that you will be deemed to be a more fit parent, and you would get most, if not full custody. Let your lawyer know that you want full custody, and be willing to fight for it. Maybe it will turn in your favor. You won't know until you ask, though.
__________________ No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks. --Mary Wollstonecraft
You said that you don't want a divorce. Did your wife bring up the subject?
I think you have some work ahead of you. I think you and your wife should go to counseling.
You didn't mention how old the baby is. If the baby is a newborn, your wife could be suffering from post-natal depression.
You don't mention if there is love between the two of you. Please go to a counselor. He/She will teach both of you how to communicate effectively. You will also learn more about yourselves and each other.
There is no reason why you should get a divorce simply because she doesn't do housework, and when you don't want a divorce.
BTW, I don't think a spouse can just "take a baby away" from the other parent. As long as you are a fit parent, you have the right to your child.
she took my baby (11 weeks old) and went to fort worth ( 100 miles away) and I have no way to get ahold of her. as far a love goes I dont think there is any love any more , or has been for about a year now. I work all night and sleep most the day and when I am away all she does is yell at me cause I wont clean the house when she does nothing but watch tv . so I dont know if she even want me other then to have someone paying for every thing for her. If she does not come back I will be getting a divorce in one week.
By her takin the baby and you not having contact with her you may be able to file charges against her for kidnapping...she has no right to keep your child from you but as long as she's still in the same state the kidnapping rule may not apply..I know it only applies in AZ if the child is removed from the state completly. But I was told by my attorney that I had to keep my child accesible to my soon to be ex.
Check with an attorney NOW...don't loose site of her.
Don't let your little one grow up without a dad. Whether it's a boy or girl, they ALL need a dad (IMHO). Value the child, just don't use him/her as a pawn.
You HAVE rights. Now, go find out what they are and fight for them.
There is no woman with a baby to take care of who 'just watches TV all day'. That's a myth and I bet you were pretty rotten to her for her to leave. I agree that you should go to marriage counselling. There's no way you'll be able to take or keep your baby. The best you can hope for is joint custody. I'd love to hear your wife's side of this.
Originally posted by Outcast
There is no woman with a baby to take care of who 'just watches TV all day'. That's a myth and I bet you were pretty rotten to her for her to leave. I agree that you should go to marriage counselling. There's no way you'll be able to take or keep your baby. The best you can hope for is joint custody. I'd love to hear your wife's side of this.
That's a pretty blanket remark to this post...dang...and I'm sorry but I totally disagree with the no woman with a baby watching tv comment...I have seen moms with a total lack of concern to take care of the child (unfortunately) and as far as there is no way he'll be able to take or keep the baby...no we don't know both sides but dang you kinda come down harshly...no case is ever black and white but this woman had no right to take the baby and run...unless there was abuse...IMHO no dad deserves to have their child completely yanked out of their life no matter how awful the marriage was the child needs both parents...
she took my baby (11 weeks old) and went to fort worth ( 100 miles away) and I have no way to get ahold of her.
Does she feel the need to protect the baby?
Are you not getting along, and she is afraid that the marital instability will affect the child?
I am not saying that she is justified to disappear without a trace, but I do get the feeling that we're not getting the whole story.
Your SO is either very stupid and thinks she will just sit tight and sue you for child support so she can really just sit around and watch tv at your expense......
OR
She is very very afraid and has taken the baby somewhere to regroup and find support. The next step will be a legal one involving child welfare, a lawyer and a litigation guardian.
I feel your pain, though, as you must miss your baby and have terrible anxiety. Just remember, though, that if you get the police and the system involved, you will all be accountable to them and children's services to sort out your differences real quick with no abuse or remain divorced and very far apart. If not, the child will be apprehended. Decide whether or not the marriage is salvageable and you can love each other again. Be very careful when deciding....and think along the lines of your child and who is likely to be in custody for the "best interests of the child". Do a lot of soul searching and find out if she is unstable or if you are scaring her.
first off OUTCAST she does just watch tv all day I work at night and yes I see what she does durring the day, second anyone that calls then self outcast isnt worth takeing advice from and third there are a lot of women out there that just watch tv all the time you ever been to the getto?? yeah people negleck there kids alot thats why there a thing called cps. get a clue pale I picked the wrong women to marry.
no theres no abuse mental or physical , we just dont get along any more and she is manic depressive so she snaps alot ( no money for med) her mother is the same way I talked to her dad and her mom has done this to him many times in there marrage but she always comes back to him after about a week ( he said sometimes he is glad when she leaves for a week) ( laugh) anyway I am a very good dad and husband I love my wife and child very much I do not believe my getting upset cause she sits around all day and does nothing is wrong of my I dont slam things, hit, or yell I just have a angry voice when I get upset and she dont like that
If your local Child Protection Services (Children's Aid here in Canada) get wind from anyone (like, a schoolteacher let's say, or the police) that this marriage is unstable or that your wife is bi-polar and not taking her meds, your child will definitely be apprehended, and only one of your relatives will be able to take custody until they are satisfied that you have taken drug tests, individual counselling, other types of counselling for you and your baby (if necessary), as well as not allowing you to be alone with your child for up to a year or more until they are satisfied that you will not have contact with the non-compliant mental ill person.
This is very serious and is a classic case for child apprehension. Listen to me!
Get custody of your child and run with it and away from her. Most diagnoses of bi-polar mood disorder (aka manic depressive) are dual diagnosed with a personality disorder such as sociopathic personality or schizophrenic personality.
If you think your life is bad now, it will become so chaotic that it will all self destruct and so will you. I promise. If she won't take the meds, I'm sorry, and I know you love her, but you have to leave and protect your child, or the system will. It's not fair, I know, but it is very very real.
Any doctor will tell you that even when a bi-polar takes the meds, it's still a difficult life for you and your kids.
Have you read any books on the subject. You should. It's not a good long-term outlook, because the trick is to get them to take their meds but they like the manic phase so much that they won't take the meds for anyone....I guess nobody is worth sacrificing such a wonderful feeling (a feeling that causes them to be irritable and seek controntation, especially from the ones closest to them.).
Get out before you are physically exhausted, bankrupt, and guilt-ridden for what it's all doing to your child. These people will do anything to get what they want (attention, money). And surprisingly, they can move on with indifference after the ordeal is over and you are having a nervous breakdown.
Read about it at the very least and prepare yourself! Now go protect your child. If you call the police, don't ever get back together with her or you will lose your child to the cps.
Do something! Doing nothing is only going to make things worse over time. In a very bad way. I promise.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
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