[Laika]

I really need help with reading and giving signals! I haven't really been that interested in anyone since I split up with my ex nearly 2 years ago and I feel very out of touch with my single self and trusting my instincts. I don't know whether I've blown a few looks and incidents way out of proportion!

The guy I have my eye on is a customer (let's call him Joe) at the shop I work at. The first time I met him, he came in with his friend who used to work in the shop. His friend was chatting to another member of staff who his friend knew and Joe wasn't really taking part in the conversation but kept looking at me. I think he was flirting, he kept holding his gaze and smiling. My instincts say it was flirting but I'm not sure whether to trust them.

He doesn't come into the shop all that often, but I always attempt to try and chat to him, although usually I get so nervous that sometimes I find it hard! He seems really shy, so I'm surprised that he's always really friendly with me (i.e. always is really happy to see me).

But like I say, he doesn't come into the shop all that often. The strangest things are when I see him outside the shop. If I pass him in the street, his face lights up and always says hello. Maybe he's just being friendly, but I'm only a girl who works in a shop that he occasionally comes into, and most of my other more regular customers aren't friendly in that way.

Also, if I'm working in the shop and he walks past he looks in, and if he sees me he just keeps on looking at me as he walks past (to the point where he's craning his neck). I would describe his look as "longing", I don't know, it just makes me go weak at the knees. I asked my friend about it and she said that he could be looking at his reflection in the glass, which was a very good point. But recently he's started waving at me, so I know it's not his reflection that he's looking at.

I'm just confused by his behaviour. I'm not sure if he likes me or not. Surely, if he did like me, then he would come into the shop more? Or maybe he's just a weirdo, because I do seem to attract a lot of them?

If it does sound like he's interested, what should I do? The guy seems really shy and I am very shy as well and I just want some tips to show that I'm interested! It is the first time that I've had that "fluttery" feeling in a *very* long time and I just want to be a bit more proactive this time rather than waiting for things to happen, like I usually do.

Any help would be appreciated!

- Laika

[FWIW]

He's very obviously attracted to you! But if he's too shy to make a move, you're going to miss out unless you drop some subtle hints that YOU are interested too. Trouble is, guys THAT shy are TERRIFIED of making a fool of themself, so any hints you need to drop are going to have to be rather UNsubtle! Next time you talk to him, mention some upcoming local event.. maybe he'll get the hint and ask you along?!

[Laika]

Thanks FWIW... it's nice to hear that you think I'm not imagining this whole thing!

Like him, I guess I'm just scared of making a total fool of myself. I agree, I really do need to start dropping subtle hints. I have been told by several people that I do come across as "standoffish." (I would say I'm just a very reserved person). So while I maybe bursting with excitement inside when I see him, I maybe coming across as less than enthusiastic. For example, when he first waved at me, I was so shocked, I didn't know what to do and therefore didn't wave back. So I missed a golden opportunity and he's probably thinking that I'm not interested.

When he does come into the shop, I do chat to him (or attempt to, when my nerves don't get the better of me!) but the main problem is that I mainly see him either walking past the shop or in the high street when I'm going to/from work. So apart from smiling like I'm some deranged crazy woman when I see him, I don't really know how to send more positive signals!

I suppose I need to make it clearer that I'm pleased to see him specifically, rather than I'm just being nice because he's a customer?

Anyway, thanks again. Will attempt to be UNsubtle when I'm next in work. Wish me luck!

-Laika

[Zephyr45]

I agree with FWIW. If you want to make this happen (sooner than later) you are going to have to drop some serious signals or flat out ask him out yourself. Just like the advice you might give a guy, the sooner you approach him the better. Maybe he likes you but he's not single. Wouldn't you rather ask him out so you can find out tomorrow so you can move on if this is the case, or would you rather deal with the nerves and butterflies for the next 3 months while you try to blow smoke signals to a blind man??

[sparticuss]

You could be reading the signs wrong but I dont think so.

three things I do know

1/ Body language is totally inferior to plain English which is why cave men developed the spoken and then the written language in the first place.


2/ Guys who flirt will firt with hundreds of girls. Any girls they are even vagely interested in.

3/ Guys who flirt do not knock back offers. Plenty of girls with flirt with guys untill that guy actually plucks up the courage to sak them out and then start screaming "piss arrrffff ya creep".
Guys who flirt do not do this. If asked, they date every girl that they flirt with.

[Lucasarts]

Originally Posted by sparticuss

3/ Guys who flirt do not knock back offers. Plenty of girls with flirt with guys untill that guy actually plucks up the courage to sak them out and then start screaming "piss arrrffff ya creep".

i noticed that you say this alot about girls

that they always are tryin to degrade men in some way or shape by their charms and beauty.

did you have a bad experience or what? did/do you get rejected often?

i really havent met a girl yet that screams obscenities when a guy is let down...usually its a straightforward no or a subtle letdown.