There is an artist here at the studio here that used to date 3 woman at the same time..
He gave each one a different phone line number to call him at work
that way he would know which girl was calling by the line number..
Originally posted by A Fly onThe Wall
disagree.. 1 at a time only
There is an artist here at the studio here that used to date 3 woman at the same time..
He gave each one a different phone line number to call him at work
that way he would know which girl was calling by the line number..
So long as your honest about it with all involved then I see no harm in it. Now sleeping with multiple people is certainly a must know thing for all involved unless of course its a 3some and they already know! Have fun and play the field just make sure no one gets hurt by letting them know what your intentions are.
disagree as well, I can't determine if I like someone until I've really gotten to know them, so having several would just be two overwhelming, I need to focus one at a time.
I don't see anything wrong with it, as long as you're not lying. In fact, I reccommend it to a lot of people. It can help you from becoming to carried away in one person too soon, helping you sort out your priorities. If one ends up really catching your interest, than stay just with them. I think a lot of females especially can tend to put all their eggs in one basket when they meet someone, and end up getting really crushed when it doesnt work out. I don't see this happening as much with men, who in general have less qualms about taking things slow and dating around.
It's definitely fair - and even wise - to keep other prospects on the side, but as far as actually dating two or three at a time? Mmmm...I'm starting to lose confidence in this method of dating. I do agree that it's okay as long as you're not making a commitment to any one person, so in that sense it's "fair", but I don't know...having done it myself a lot lately, I think it can only add to whatever sense of confusion a person already feels. I've noticed that when I date several people at the same time, I tend to not take any one of them very seriously, and sometimes I end up getting bored or uninspired because I know that there's always someone to fall back on. Maybe it's best just to keep an eye on someone, but only date one. That way, you get a chance to build a connection, to really see the value of the person you're spending time with and to judge them on better terms.
I think people date multiple prospects because they're either being selfish and want to play around, or they've been hurt real badly and do this as a means of protecting their ego and pride. It's a way to say, 'Well, if this b!tch screws me over, I'll just go hustle this other b!tch.' I don't know if I buy the argument of its necessity; I think that if you want to find someone worthwhile you just develop a relationship with them over time and see where it goes.
__________________ Should have been dead on a Sunday morning bangin' my head, no time for mournin', ain't got no time -- My Own Prison, Creed
Few weeks ago I had a date with someone I had never gone out with before..
At dinner she asked me about dating more than one person at a time and I told her my feelings about it.. That I only date one at a time..
She said to me.. "Gosh.. you are going to think really bad of me then " I sometimes have 2 dates in one day.. One at lunch and one at dinner.."
Originally posted by amerikajin
I think it can only add to whatever sense of confusion a person already feels. I've noticed that when I date several people at the same time, I tend to not take any one of them very seriously, and sometimes I end up getting bored or uninspired because I know that there's always someone to fall back on.
SOOOOOO true.
It's very hard to determine if there really is a connection with any one person when you have someone else waiting in the wings, and you're comparing the two...
Quote:
Originally posted by A Fly onThe Wall
She said to me.. "Gosh.. you are going to think really bad of me then " I sometimes have 2 dates in one day.. One at lunch and one at dinner.."
There wasn't a second date
Her only mistake was admitting it to you!
I've done it. Nothing "wrong" with it...but if you're looking for something with real potential, it's not the wisest thing to do.
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i was just thinking about this very same topic last night. the reason for that is because i've always found it impossible for me to split myself between two people, even if it is just a dating situation .... but i'm in a really confused position right now where i find myself wanting to be single thus keeping my options open but at teh same time wanting my ex back (feelings mutual) ... and even though i'm not ready for him yet (just broke off a relationship) i feel like my emotions are already committed to him which then doesnt allow me to keep my options open. i think i just need to be single straight up for now until i get my head on straight.
back to the original question .... 1 at a time!
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"to be happy, you need three things: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."
On a first date you are just assessing someone. I have no problem meeting someone for a first date, knowing that they are meeting other people for first dates too. But once you get to a second date, that implies some kind of interest from the person towards you, and vice versa. If someone wants to see me again, I assume that's because they are at least a bit keen and there is some attraction & personality match. But if they are simultaneously seeing someone else for a 2nd time (or 3rd, 4th etc), then clearly they can't be all *that* interested! So I'd stop right there and not waste my time with them.
Some people will multiple date and hide it. So always tell your date that you are cool with them dating around until they are sure who to go for, that way they are much more likely to admit if they are dating other people. You can then drop them and move on.
Define "dating" -- maintaining an emotionally strong physical relationship with two or more people? Or you go out with Ted a couple times, Bob asks you out somewhere in there, Ted's got no reason to assume your his g/f, etc.
I sort of assume the latter is what everyone does. It is not sensible to go straight into mini-marriage with someone after coffee for the first time.
Dating can be a tricky game and if you don't play your cards right you can end up alone or hurt in the long run. I usually like to date on person at a time. It's hard to keep up with all the calls and 'when can I see you' questions. Dating multiple people but NOT sleeping with them is ok. You're not in a committed relationship so you shouldn't have an rules on who you can date and when.
Now if you are becoming closer to one particular person and you decide to sleep with them, right then and their I would make the choice of just being with that person. Now-a-days you need to be careful with STD's and for a woman, getting pregnant. If you just have casual sex with someone but no strings attached, meaning no commitment than so be it. Just the thought of sleeping with more than one person at a time can be overwhelming and confusing.
Being single can be a lot of fun, that's what it's all about, dating different types of people and it can be a great experience to learn about what you like and don't like in a person. But I just say play it safe! If you are casually dating but not sleeping with anyone no harm is done, once you sleep with someone that's where I would draw the line.
__________________ It's better to have honest enemies, then dishonest friends!
I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me!
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