[NeoIQ]

Is she sounding like she was abused? Post: 1 | Quote:

I recieved this from my girlfriend that has been gone for 9 days now. Is it me, or is she sounding like she was abused? This is totaly confusing. She tells me when she left that I needed to be more compassionate, kinder and gentler. And then I get this today. It sounds rather extreme. She is a writer by trade, so I'm not sure if she is being creative in her writing here or what.

I have not had any time since I moved out. You've been calling, emailing, or coming by every day. Look, I know this is hard on you, and I'm sorry for that, but you are not helping things by constantly trying to talk to me. I'm glad you're trying to make changes, but the fact is you should have been doing those

kinds of things all along - not wait until I left to all of a sudden make drastic changes. You created this situation, and I warned you time and time and time again of what would happen. I told you repeatedly that I wasn't happy, that I wanted to leave, and now that I have, you act surprised. I wasn't joking all
those times. I deserve better. Life is too short to be unhappy and I will not play these games with you any longer. I'm done with it. What I'm saying is that my feelings for you are not what they used to be. I'm probably not ever going to come home, and you need to start dealing with that. I don't feel like starting over with you. I think the time for that is past - too much has been said and done for me to really feel good about you again. I told you before that your actions were just chipping away at me, at my feelings for you, at my spirit, and that's what's happened - you've basically killed my feelings for you. To be honest, I haven't been in this relationship in a really long time. It took a lot of courage/strength for me to leave - not because I didn't want to, but because I feared your reaction. I'm not stupid. I know that once it settles in for you that we're probably not going to get back together that things between us are going to get ugly - you'll hurt the house or you'll hurt me, you'll sue me or whatever - you'll find someway to hurt me. I know that, but it's worth it. I'd rather be ruined financially or be dead than live like I was living, with someone who didn't give a **** about my feelings or what he said or did to me. I'm better than that and I will not do that again for anyone - not even you. Lesson learned.

[Craig]

It's kind of hard to comment on it without any background information. What is your response to what she said?

[scared shy]

Sounds like she is really upset at something you did/said. Have you been contacting her a lot? Does she usually respond? IE answer the phone, email you back, whatever the case may be...
I am curious also as to what your response was.

[NeoIQ]

I haven't replied as of yet. Trying to get my thoughts together. She always responds with email. She answers the phone when I call. She came over two night in a row to watch TV. Went and watched at her place one night. She's receptive, but at the same time says she wants her space. Then I get an email like this. It was on on going email from this morning. I started it by asking if she wanted to go to breakfast, talked about the dog, says she needs two weeks of time. I responded with "is that two weeks on top of the nine days you've been gone or our we looking at five more days? And her response is what you've read.

[scared shy]

Honestly I would just do the NC thing for awhile and let her contact you. That was a hurtful e-mail she wote to you, and you should be a little upset that she would color you so pushy if she is hanging out with you and responding to your advances of friendship.

Maybe just don't call or e-mail, and don't respond to her last e-mail, let her chase you for a change if that's what you really want. If she doesn't then I guess you will have your answer to know if she really meant her hurtful words or not.

[NeoIQ]

We have been living together over three years now. The house is in her name. She just said for me to pay the bills here. She rented an apartment for six months. We were together for a year 8 or 9 years ago. She wasn't ready to play "mom" to my two kids so we spilt up. With no contact for almost 5 years, we found each other again in a different city. She left the guy she was living with and we got a place together all in a matter of 22 days after no contact for almost 5 years. Happened very fast. And we've been together since. Love isn't the issue, we both love each other and there is no one else in the picture.

[Mr.positive]

Girls are crazy dude! Just play it cool. Like it doesn't bother you.