I guess I am a freak, I recently starting seeing this guy whom happens to be my brother in law's best friend. I am going through a divorce, been seperated for 3 months now. I am legally allowed to see other people. This guy has commented to me that he needs for the papers to be signed beofre he lets his feelings out about me, he has said this a couple of times. I completely understand where he is coming from.
It's just that I think that we moved to quickly and now he has been distant. We got along great, went out and had a good time. He has told my sister great things about me. He all the sudden stopped calling, emailing me and I dont know if it's only because of the situation that Im in or he's just not that into me. I hate that damn book. This situation is a unique one. I dont know how to act, all i know is to stop trying. He will come to me if he wants.
What do you guys think? I know that he has told his parents about me, he brought me around his friends (he says they like me), he says that Im the kindest person he has ever met, he told my sister that Im always on his mind and that I remind him of himself.
Im totaly confused. I understand that he wants me to be legally divorced, but I keep thinking that he just isnt into me.
Your input is greatly appreciated.
I guess what I really want to know, is this divorce possibly the reason why he is so distant now?
Originally posted by Bluezone
I understand that he wants me to be legally divorced,
I guess what I really want to know, is this divorce possibly the reason why he is so distant now?
Almost all of us want a woman not married ...
He might be thinking that you aren't ready to date yet.. I used to hate when women used to turn away from me when they heard I hadn't been divorced at least a year.
After going thru it I understand what they were talking about.. The first year I was basicaly a mess.. Now it's been over 4 years and I don't suffer from the first year blues anymore
It should be enough for him that the divorce is in process. He has issues. And I read the damn book too (It's my bible right now!). I want to be the exception too.
I read that 95% of relationships that start sooner than a yr that someone has been divorced end. I am proof. I dated a guy who was separated and I should have waited til he was divorced. I fell so hard and he was still confused about his emotions. THis guy is smart to say he wants the papers signed.
Although some people have started or gone thru the grieving in the marriage and when the divorce is final they are ready to go again
Exactly! I thought my marriage was dead a long time ago, I felt alone then and now I am ready for my new life to begin. I am young still (27) and think I have a right to begin this new chapter of my life. Plus, I believe in life some things are too good to pass up. If he is a great guy to get to know, then I am going to go for it.
It's just odd that I thought the feelings were mutual, almost too good to be true. He was calling every other day, talking me about me to his family and my sister and then PFFFFT he is a stranger.
We were going out like every couple days together and with friends and then weekend he went to visit his parents (the weekend I assume, he told his family about me). I have talked to him since, however we havent seen eachother in 2 weeks, Im leaving for Hawaii tomorrow for 10 days. No call no nothing, mind you he called me Sunday and said that he wanted to see me before I leave. Havent heard a word. He has been busy with work and he condos he's trying to sell. So no idea.
I have come to the conclusion that he is smart, why get into a relationship (a potentially good one) with someone who is going through the most stressful time of her life? His sister divorced, she remarried. His brother married a women with a child, so I think that they might of told him to back off and let me get through this. If it's meant to be then things can wait.
I think you are right that his family influenced him on this decision. I kinda think he's thinking everything can be put on hold until HE feels you are emotionally available, and by having the papers signed tells him that.
I think it's dumb and he shouldn't be ignoring you.
Quote:
Exactly! I thought my marriage was dead a long time ago, I felt alone then and now I am ready for my new life to begin. I am young still (27) and think I have a right to begin this new chapter of my life. Plus, I believe in life some things are too good to pass up. If he is a great guy to get to know, then I am going to go for it.
My thoughts exactly. My marriage was dead for a long time and i even hooked up with someone before I moved out. It didn't last, cuz he too forgot I existed.
I don't believe in waiting for your heart to heal. I believe you pick up the pieces, put the past in the past, and when you feel those tears welling up, have a 60-second pity party and snap out of it cuz you're better off without the guy who's Just Not That Into You.
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