i can understand why no one would want to trawl through my last thread but i just want to ask opinions on something at the end of it, which is why i am starting a new thread.
does anyone else think it strange that xmms wife was kissing his friend in front of him at a party and then that same night he turned up in the middle of the night at my door.
i sent him away and did not speak to him, the next day he told me what had happened but didnt tell me why he had come round, other than that he was drunk. he told me what had happened and when i asked said that it had not bothered him. that day he was trying to talk all day but i was busy. since then i have been too busy to talk and now i think he thought i was ignoring him and so is not trying to contact me, so i havent got any more on this story.
am just wondering if this is normal behaviour for long married couples drunk at a party.
There's really no way to know - because what is 'normal' for some couples may not be 'normal' for others. Was it a long, sloppy wet kiss or just a kiss on the lips? Did it involve an embrace, or heavy petting? If it was just a regular old 'on the closed mouth' kiss, then likely it was no big deal. Maybe the man was gay, or no threat. Or, maybe the W and the H have a more 'open' agreement than you may think - or, maybe it was an act of revenge in which his ass wouldn't be able to say a damned thing without looking like a hypocrite. Maybe he lied just to get you to feel sorry for him and sleep with him. At this point, does it really matter? Would knowing the truth really change anything?
Whatever the case, the moment has definitely passed - and MM doesn't appear to be too interested in being forthcoming about it. He isn't speaking to you? Great! He thinks you are ignoring him? Great! See this as a unique opportunity to spring yourself from this trap. Don't be sad at a 'lost opportunity' with MM. Be angry that this guy sees you as the type of woman who he can go to drunk in the middle of the night after a date with his wife, and think that she has such low expectations for herself that she will actually lay him under those circumstances. Be ANGRY!
Don't allow him to see you that way, ever again - keep being 'busy'. If he shows up again, do the same thing and send him away. Take control in this situation. Don't allow him to contact you outside of work.
__________________ No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks. --Mary Wollstonecraft
I do not think it is normal behavior for long married couples to openly kiss in front of their spouses at a party, I know several married couples who would never go that route. It would be very disrespectful to the other spouse to do something like that. And if by chance a W did do that in front of her husband (whether drunk or to spite her husband), I would think that the husband would go up to them and say "Excuse me?" and pull her away and either deck the guy and/or take her away from the party and deal with her away from the people.
Did he and W go together to this party? And did he say if he and W got in a fight over it? What was their interaction like after that? He left a lot of information out. And LucreciaBorgia might be right, he may have made it up. I am glad you sent him on his way.
He sounds like he's losing control of both his women. Keep busy, you will feel better. Keep posting, we are here to support you!
it was a passionate kiss, and he wasnt gay he was also a mm.
yes i would think if he wasnt also guilty he would have said more about it. i think she may have been trying to get a reaction from him, i dont know.
he says their marriage has been bad for ages but i thought that was just a typical mm thing to say.
i am not going to sleep with him ever, so that is not a problem.
What's he going to do....get angry with her?!?!?!?! LOL!!!
Like he's got ANY moral ground on which to stand....
Personally, I think you're both better off without him. Sounds like perhaps his wife has wised up to what's been going on and has decided on a bit of revenge on him...or at least evening up the playing field a bit.
Be glad that you're getting out of that situation now...it's probably going to get much worse in his house in the near future. But whatever you do, don't let him come running to you for 'sympathy'...because it won't be a plea for sympathy, it'll only be a ploy to get something else. That's likely the REAL reason why he came around you door that nite.
Good luck to you!
__________________
"The newsflash is that in the game of love we are ALL at Vegas, some of us are bigger gamblers than others...
Welcome to VEGAS BABY! " --Tomcat33, May 21, 2008
"Just don't cry when the odds beat YOU" Owl, Sep 08
thanks owl
yes well obviously he has no grounds, but she doesnt KNOW about the affair, and it hasnt been going on for a while. however, she may know on some level and it might be a delayed reaction, i suppose. it was very probably to provoke a reaction of some kind from him. i wish i knew more about the story. he is not speaking to me at the moment (i dont know what he thinks ive done wrong), and so thats all i know.
he didnt seem like he was asking for sympathy when he told me about it, he couldnt wait to tell me though, but it was impossible to know what kind of way he said it as it was on im that he told me.
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