[kgal]

I have been having a LDR w/a man I met online a year ago. We've met in person and spent some time together the week he was in town near where I live. (We slept together too)...

Anyways... now he's back in Seattle and I'm in the midwest. We talk on messenger, text and phone all the time. Lately, I was becoming very clingy and sensed that I had to back off..so that's what i'm doing now.

Last night we were on messenger and he kept making excuses to leave the conversation but would return minutes later. It seems like, and I'm just assuming that he has another conversation going.. and I feel very ignored and I'm guessing this is what has triggered my clingyness..b/c I fear he will find someone else and I love him.

I just went through a very hard break up 2 years ago.. and if this guy hurts me then I would just be so crushed. He'll always tell me that he's serious about me... though when I mention our future together.. or if we will ever have one , he gets annoyed at me and tells me to just calm down.

I dont know what to do or think and I'm so aggrevated!!!

[d'Arthez]

LDRs can only work, if you have an idea that you are moving towards a future together, preferably in a relatively short amount of time. The fact that he gets annoyed when you bring up this vital subject, does not bode too well.

You have spent only a week together. That is not much, and in fact probably too little. Why have the two of you not spent more time together? There are people in LDRs who don't mind traveling across half the globe to spend a bit of time with their beloved ones. LDRs are hard because of the doubts, and the insecurity, which can be overwhelming at times. Weird messenger behavior fuels these doubts.

I wonder though, as you have met online, how truthful this man is, and how truthful your thoughts about him are.
It is easy to build up a person you practically don't know in real life. Because of the distance, the chances that you will see his bad sides, or annoying habits are a lot smaller, than when you would occasionally visit his place to hang out. Do you see him as he really is, or do you see him, as he pretends himself to be? How well do you know this man?

In short, I would start to reconsider this relationship, as this man is refusing to even think about the things that are necessary to make a LDR work.
From what you have written, I would even suggest considering ending things. It would be hurtful, but you will overcome the hurt. Right now, it seems as if you are clinging to the specter of this man, in order to ward of the pain you think you would suffer, if you were not doing that.