my mm's wife came into the place i work yesterday... does anyone out there think it was a casual shopping event? or more? such as she found out about her husband and i, and now she's scoping me out?
so you definately don't think it was a casual shopping experience?
i mean... she could *not* know about me, right? and if so she could just be coming in to pick up a few things.... and it could be just coincidence, right?
i thought i was just freaking out, reading too much into it... :anics::
i suppose that might explain why MM has been distant lately... maybe she hinted at knowing and wanted to confirm my existance for herself by "visiting" me... and he's been staying low-key so as to not ruffle her feathers any further.
my job is near their house... she could have been in hundreds of times and i've never seen or noticed her before
do you think, if she really was checking me out with the intention of "coming after me with claws out" (wwiu) she'd cause a scene at my work? or would she have the decency to wait until i'm in the parking lot?
No, I doubt she'd do it at work...But she could follow you after work.
I don't want to put fears into your head, but it's always a possibility. One never knows what someone is capable of when they find out their spouse is having an affair.
Mention it to him. If he's distancing himself from you, something may be up. Take some time and space for YOU. Don't give him the power to have control over when you both see eachother. Make plans with friends and say no to him once in a while. Don't be so quick to say yes to him. The more you do that, the more control YOU gain back.
i totally agree with you. he def. has the power between us, though i limit how much i let him know that. i've always maintained my own sense of self, my own friends and my own time. i operate on a day planner, he's just usually the one who fills it first, lol
thanks for the advice and the heads up. even though you confirmed my worst fear about the MRS, i needed to hear it from someone outside my immediate realm.
btw, please satisfy my own curiousity here; the two of you that are posting (which way is up and a fly on the wall) do either of you have experience with a similar situation? either as the wife who found out and did a trial sneak and peak or as the ow who was being scoped out? i gather from the phrase "they all do the exploration trip" that you have either been there done that or have known of quite a few situations where such an event has occurred.
to the OW out there who have been watched by the W, how did you know it wasn't a casual happening w/o her knowing who you are and what you're doing to her H?
Originally posted by aklost101
to the OW out there who have been watched by the W, how did you know it wasn't a casual happening w/o her knowing who you are and what you're doing to her H?
Only through what happened to my stepmom and dad..But it was the reverse.. My dad had an affair and the OW did all the scouting out.. Creating fake broken down cars to use the phone at our house and stuff like that.. She also used to go to all my brothers high school football games and watch him play..
In my situation my Stepmom and the OW became sorta friends and used to talk about it with each other.. They both wound up dumping him in the end
How the heck could anyone here respond with any certainty? - we don't know her or her intentions. If she lives close to where you work, she could have been there shopping (did she actually buy anything? Did she genuinely seem to be looking for something or was she just wandering around the shop kind of aimlessly?). Did she make eye contact with you? Did you catch her watching you?
How do you even know what your MM's wife looks like?
Why don't you just drop the MM, find someone who's single and then you won't have to worry about someone's wife checking you out and perhaps starting a scene in your workplace.
Aklost, you didn't present any information about your affair and you're asking people what they think. In a lack of info, I'd say if she didn't give you any special look or seemed interested in you in any sense, she doesn't know who you are. But we can't be sure.
Whether your town is small, whether his friends know, whether neighbors have seen you, and many other things are important in order to know whether she might know.
shy; i was simply asking an opinion based on said situation.
*yes she bought something
*i tried to avoid looking at her so i wouldn't be the one caught staring.
*i know what she looks like b/c i've seen a pic of her
*i know i should and deserve to find someone better. but i know you've read it on here before: it's easier said then done, and it wasn't supposed to end up this way
RP; sometimes too much info clouds the opinions... ppl get caught up in the ethics and morals instead of the matter at hand.
as to the details for your questions:
*town is officially a "city" but is rather small... ehhh 30-50,000, my guess. i can look up the specifics if you want. technically she lives in a different township than i do, but that twnsp is *very* close to where i work
*yes his friends know; we spent a couple nights drinking w/ them
*neighbors may have seen us (not mine though) but i don't know his, so i'm not sure. he used to take me out of town all the time, but we rarely leave the area now (including her/their twnsp)
*one time we ran into MM's friends wife while out
any more details? just let me know.
thanks for the replies
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