My wife is getting obsessive about her body and weight loss

Blackfrost · 19th July 2005, 5:27 PM

So, I decided after being out of shape for the last 10 years, and having a noticable gut and double chin, that I was going to make a change for me. I've been going religiously to the gym six days a week on the Body for Life program and have lost an emormous amount of weight, and have put on a great deal of muscle. Basically I'm at the point where I can count 4 very defined abs and am actively working to see if I'm am genetically blessed enough to have eight - please god please haha. My wife has begun noticing the looks and comments I am getting from other women (like at the mall this weekend), where I'm pretty much oblivious to others comments, and could care less who they are or what their opinion is of me - I'm happily married, that's good enough for me. So, this has led to some kind of crisis in my wife's mind, that she must also be extremely skinny, in order for me to not look or take up offers from other women - like I would?!?. She was obviously very comfortable when I was fat, and didn't feel the need to worry then haha. Anyways, my wife is already, and always has been in awesome physical shape - I have no complaints, and never have - I've always just worshipped her incredible body, because she's one of those lucky 10% that doesn't have to really exercise, can eat the junk she wants, and still have quite a defined hard body, that guys immediately look at and make moves on her.

So my question is, Why is she suddenly becoming so insecure and starting to starve herself all the time to compete against me? She knows I'm not working out for any other reason then my own soul. I worry about her health now that she's doing this, and she gets dizzy or hot flashes once in a while from it. I keep reassuring her that I LOVE her, LOVE her body, and LOVE our marriage and our daughter, and would NEVER even consider leaving her for someone else.

She made a comment to me this morning as I had just stepped out of the shower "O my god, look at how defined your getting, and how big chest and arms arms developing - I'm gonna have to starve myself to death to make sure I'm pretty enough to be with you." What the hell kind of comment is that?!? Why would she ever even assume that after her telling her everday of her life how much I love and need her, that she would have to do this to herself, because of the way I now look.

*sigh* I'm just worried and confused. Any ideas or opinions are much welcomed

Cheers

ConfusedInOC · 19th July 2005, 5:30 PM

She's just being a little insecure. As you said, she's seeing the looks and comments and reacting to them.

Just assure her she is all you need. Give her flowers or do something nice for her to show her you love her. Reassurance will be necessary until she gets over her insecurities.

quankanne · 19th July 2005, 5:47 PM

Why would she ever even assume that after her telling her everday of her life how much I love and need her, that she would have to do this to herself, because of the way I now look.

sounds like in a past relationship, some jackass she dated probably made her feel bad about herself, either by something he said or did, so now it carries over even today.

a girl's point of view? Make her feel like she's the sexiest little lady you've EVER set your eyes on, and that you just cannot get enough of her, she makes you that hot. Sometimes our sense of self gets tangled up in our sense of self-image, and it can be messy. And there's nothing like the man you want giving you that "ooh, mamacita, you're so FINE" look, because you know he wants you and only you.

New_Wife · 19th July 2005, 7:26 PM

Print out this thread and give it to her.

I'd about mess my drawers I'd be so happy if my husband wrote something like that about me.

scratch · 19th July 2005, 8:03 PM

You've made huge strides working out - why not make fitness something you share? Advise her of the healthy way to improve herself (remember that how she looks in your eyes isn't nearly as important as she looks in her own eyes) and help her get started.

Even if she looks good now, she'll look and feel better if she works out. Crash dieting is the lazy person's way to temporary improvement.

RecordProducer · 19th July 2005, 8:37 PM

She doesn't compete against you, but against the other women. I guess a constant reassurance will finally work for her. All you can do is be sweet and affectionate to her, make love with her regularly and not pay attention to the other women's looks or compliments.
She will get used to the new situation, just give her a little time.
Your wife has a great husband. She is lucky!