[honeybunch2k5]

I have a question...


In a relationship why do guys start out affectionate and enthusiastic then after a while stop putting in the same effort? Like when I first met my boyfriend, we used to go out all the time, flirt, and hold hands and all that good stuff. Now I'm lucky if I get a hug and have to "remind" him to give me a kiss. We don't go out quite as much, and sometimes he seems a little more interested in just staying home and chilling. He used to tell me I was pretty, but now that never happens. I'll give him credit for being a little more affectionate in bed.
And it's some of the little things that he quit doing.

Do all guys do this especially when they get laid on a regular basis, or is he just losing interest? Why do guys change as a relationship gets more serious?

[A Fly onThe Wall]

All relationships go thru this whether it's a marriage or live situation or just bf-gf.

I think people just get used to one another and sometimes take things for granted ie: not saying I love you alot because you know they know you love 'em

Since you have noticed this in your relationship then I would suggest spicing it up.. do something nice for you both that can bring the spark back.. Maybe a nice romantic weekend away to a cabin in the mountains

[HokeyReligions]

Its not just men, its everyone. Its called being comfortable in the relationship and sometimes taking the partner for granted. Do you still do all the same things you did when you were first together? A lot of times women will not let their bf see them in their grubby's with no makeup, etc. during courting and then as they get comfortable they start wearing sweats or no makeup or whatever, sometimes because they are together so often and they don't have time, or just because they are comfortable. Their bf's might not even notice at first, but as the comfort level increases both partners will 'let their hair down' more around the other and thus a rut forms.

Think about what changes there may have been from both of you that has led to this and decide what actions you want to take to change things, and talk it over with your bf-- you both can reach some compromises and make changes that will make both of you happier. A common human behavior is to put more effort in the acquiring of something or someone, and not as much effort in the maintenance. Talk to him, he might have some ideas and suggestions to spice up your life too.

[BrotherAaron]

You get comfortable, you get bored, you just don't give a crap anymore. It depends. Usually this happens as a result of spending way too much time together and losing enthusiasm. Since you don't like sitting at home with him, start making plans to go out with your friends on nights when he wants to stay home. Tell him that you're not interested in watching TV all night, and if he refuses to actually do something with you then you're going to go with your friends. After he spends a few nights alone on his couch in front of the boob tube, watch his attitude change.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by honeybunch2k5
Why do guys change as a relationship gets more serious?

For the same exact reasons that women change and stop doing the little things....cause of familiarity and no more challenge.

[greenhorn]

More than guys it is the women who change !!!

[loony]

I don't think this is a gender-specific problem.

[griftymcgriff]

with your "guy" changing thing it can also happen to girls to. My gf doesnt like to hold my hands as much, and gets anoyed with i just want to hug her?

[Naive]

I agree with the others, it's not just men who change, it's women too! We get more comfortable and stop taking care of ourselves, we stop showing all the affection we got them so used to, no more surpises, etc.

It's up to you and your partner to make the comfort zone a GOOD thing.

[Naive]

Originally posted by greenhorn
More than guys it is the women who change !!!

I disagree, I think it's equal.

[griftymcgriff]

Originally posted by ~Naive~
I disagree, I think it's equal.

agreed