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what do guys really want.....a relationship or a booty call?

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Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

Old 16th July 2005, 12:31 PM   #1
chichi
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Unhappy what do guys really want.....a relationship or a booty call?

well i have been talking to this guy for about 3 months....and its not that we talk everyday but we do see eachtoher on the weekends....i really like him alot but i feel like we are just friends with benefits he tells me that he doesnt want a relationship but i do.

he comes over and we spend time together and when we are out together like at the club than we are all over eachother but when it comes to being with me he doesnt want to......when i dont go out with him to the club he is always talking to other girls and then when he leaves that club he call me and i feel like a booty call

i talked to him about this and he gets mad when i tell him that i think it is a booty call....i dont know what to do
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Old 16th July 2005, 12:57 PM   #2
Moai
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All he wants is a booty call, but all guys aren't like this.

Right now, you give him everything he wants and don't demand what you want from him. If you want a relationship with him but this is all you are getting, don't see him anymore. It isn't fair to you, and it seems like it makes you feel bad to watch him with other women when he is not with you (I don't blame you).

If you put the brakes on, he'll either come around, realize that he does want to be with you and start up a real relationship, or he'll think "oh, well" and move on.

It's easier said than done, but if you can do it you'll be much happier in the long run. Good luck!
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Old 16th July 2005, 1:15 PM   #3
emotionsmessmeup
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a man knows within the first 2-3 meetings if he wants u as a booty call or more!
move on..
i was in the same situation...
use him for ur needs instead of letting him use u...
after all u hv the upper hand coz u got the vagina..
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Old 16th July 2005, 1:17 PM   #4
chichi
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i know that it is easier said than done but damn it is so hard.....i like him so much but i guess he doesnt like me that way....i have stopped talking to him before and told him that we should just remain friends and not do anything with eachother anymore because it is too hard for me but he tells me that it doesnt feel right to him and he wants to still talk to me and see me......i have asked him many times if he can ever see himself with me and he tells me no because he doesnt want a relationship but then i ask him than why do you mess around with me if you dont plan on being with me and he says i never said that i didnt want to be with you just i dont want a relationship right now........what should i tell him please help me i am so confused and i dont feel good enough for him to be with?
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Old 16th July 2005, 1:32 PM   #5
LucreziaBorgia
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You have this choice: remain in the relationship on his terms or leave it.

It will not be the relationship you want, and there is nothing you can do to make him want a relationship with you when he is content to use you for sex.

So... if you are happy with that, stay. If you are not, leave and go 'no contact'. That means FULL 'no contact' - so that you can begin to put your heart and head back together again. Full 'no contact' is forward movement with no looking back. There's no need to worry about losing him, because you never had him the way that would have made you happy: nor were you ever likely to.

If you get tempted to talk to him, remember: no new contacts = no new hurts.
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No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks.
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Old 16th July 2005, 10:01 PM   #6
Mary3
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Sex + 0

He just wants sex and you are giving it to him.

( Some ) men equate sex with sex. Not sex with commitment. Not sex with Love. Not sex with marriage.

Just sex. Pure sex. Sex with you. No strings. He has you where he wants you.

If you dont want this then you have to leave it.

Its NOT easy. I know...trust me...but I know you think you might be losing more than just him.........

Maybe you are losing a friend too. A companion. A lover.........

Its really hard but if you have any other forms of life and support you need to walk away,.

Or continue to give him sex. He has already told you he wants to just be FWB
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