[katty]

I'm a complete mess. I am very confused. I have been dating this guy for 2 months or so, and Tues. night he ask me to see only him and he would do the same. Wed. morning everything was fine, he called on Wed. night and everything was fine, he always calls before we drift off to sleep. He didn't call me but once on Thursday and was going to do something with his sister that night. I went out with a friend but was disappointed to not receive his nightly phone call. The next day Friday I called and left a message on his voice mail, he called me right back. He called later that evening and told me he was doing something with his family but might be able to make it to a friends house that we were both invited to later. I had ask him on his earlier phone call if he was mad or something because he wasn't his self. OK now here is the confusing part, he said he might not be able to show at the friends house and he didn't. I did call once around 10 pm and got his voice mail. I told him that I hoped he wasn't avoiding the friends house on account of me, ok then I called again when I left my friends house to come home. This time I got his voice mail and I just told him that I was sorry that I missed seeing him and that I was headed home. Up until now I had always stayed at his house b/c I live 45 minutes away from him and the friend. He was always telling me how much he loved holding me in his arms and waking up with me in the mornings so I did add on the message that I missed him and that I missed snuggling with him. He never called me back.
I know that Sat. a friend of his is having a Birthday party that I have not been ask to and I think he may be avoiding me so he can go. I just wish I knew something. Am I just being paranoid or have I been dumped? I just don't know. Please someone point me in the right direction. Before now he had been doing all of the calling and now I don't know if I am just to dumb to take the hint or if he is just needing space, why can't he call me and just tell me so at least I know.
Please help me understand. I don't want to bother him anymore if he is trying to give me the brush off.

[LucreziaBorgia]

It sounds like he may be seeing someone behind your back. Either that or he wanted to break up with you so badly that he just did a disappearing act on you. I'm inclined to think its another person based on your post, and how this change was fairly sudden. Even if he isn't seeing someone else, one thing is certain - he has given you a rude brushoff.

What to do? Give him space. Lots of it - in fact, you may just want to go ahead and give him the ultimate space: the breakup.

[griftymcgriff]

i wouldnt say give him the whole ultimate space thing. Just be quiet let him come to you he will surely soon miss you and call you and then you can talk to him why he's being so strange!

[katty]

Thanks to both of you for your replies. I waited along time before jumping back into a relationship because I had a hard time getting over my last boyfriend. I even waited over 6 months before dating again so it wouldn't be a rebound thing.
I don't know what has gotten into James but all I know is it is hard when they go from whining because they are not with you to disappearing.
Why can't people just be honest? Why must they make the other person wonder and wait around? I know that he gets really jealous of my male friends even though he has lots of girls that he is friends with.
I am thinking about going on a date tonight however I don't know if I should because James had just told me Wed. night that we shouldn't see other people. I am so confused but more than that I just miss him really bad.
thanks for helping. I need all the help I can get.
I keep thinking that he is acting this way because his brother is coming into town today and all of their friends are going to a big Birthday party and my sister is going which also happens to be James best friend, however the two of us don't get along that well so I am thinking he is wanting to go to this party but doesn't want to feel guilty about going. Who knows. We had just had a conversation about how we are never together on Saturday nights.
I don't mind if he went and I wouldn't want to go with him, I just want to know what is wrong.