[SummerRae]

Ok, so here’s the situation. I saw someone for a v. short but intense period of time. I completely fell for him. I thought he was what I wanted. I still wonder if I will find/feel what I did with him. It’s now been over a month since things ended and just when I think I’m over it, I’m back where I started again. It doesn’t help that his best friend lives right across the street from me so I am constantly reminded of him. And he is my baseball coach! Thankfully, I just have to make it through this weekend (our tournament) and then I won’t have to see him.

I feel like I shouldn’t be pining for him still. Especially since we weren’t even together for very long. About a year before, I was heartbroken from a relationship that lasted 4 years. Somehow, this seems much worse. It hurts more. Quite possibly, I never dealt with the first wound. So I’m grieving both. That’s the only way I can make sense of this situation. Fu(k, I don’t even know HOW to grieve. Usually, I would just ignore my feelings, or go out and party hard. This time, no matter what I do, the emptiness is still a little there, even if I think it’s not, it’s still somewhere underneath and lurks through in the middle of the night or when I wake up in the morning. I’m pining… and I HATE IT.

I want to heal fully so that my next relationship won’t turn out this way. How do I stop grieving? Any wise words??

[curly]

I think the point is that you have to grieve. Grieving is a process. You can not predict how long it will last. It all depends on what you've lost and how many other losses are in your past that you haven't dealt with.

I'm in that process now and it is extremely difficult. I have no way of knowing when it will end, but I try to have faith that it will end.

I was given a book that is really easy to read called "How to Survive the Loss of a Love." It's not heavy and has poems and quotes that really speak to you. Try that...

Good luck.

[SummerRae]

Thanks Curly. I think it will help once I am no longer playing baseball with him. It’s so hard having to see him all the time. It hurts. I really wish I could be friends with him since he is a really great, fun person. But I will never be able to be friends with him without feeling the pain of not being able to have him the way I want. I can’t wait for this weekend to be over with. It’s so hard. Some days I feel totally fine. I just have to remind myself that I will be able to love again. I existed before him, you know?

So what was your situation? How are you feeling about it? When do you long the most for him?

This book is short and very effective. I wish I found it earlier.
"Filling the Void" by Dorothy Bullit.

It covers all types of people, so not every tidbit will fit you. It starts a little corny, I almost stopped reading it, I'm very happy I finished it.

I'm not into self help books, but I keep 2 copies of this one. I loan it to friends in grief (rave reviews from them) and I have my backup copy, I'll never be without it.