I wouldnt doubt this exact thing is posted somewhere else on here, but I would just like to reiterate something for ya'll because I have been trying to recover from being dumped and I am seeing a huge trend.
If you have been dumped, think of it like this...when you were little did you ever have one of those bouts where you wanted to run away? you'd say to your mom "I AM LEAVING and NEVER COMING BACK!" think about how you would feel if she were to say, "Ok, I'll help you pack your bags"
Give your ex the same treatment. Get them out.
Second: the longer it takes you to accept its over is like asking for a second, third and fourth helping of PAIN. I promise you that once you say to yourself, ok its over...the past is the past...I cant change it but I CAN change my attitude, you'll start feeling better already.
Third: some people seem to think that with NC, they are going to get their Ex back. Please dont fall in to this trap!! You are completely dismissing my second point! Let it go, and NC will be about YOU getting over THEM, not *waiting* for them. The great part is, IF they do come back (which they probably wont so dont even entertain this idea) you'll already be WELL in to the process of getting past them and the likliness of you falling under their spell again is much less. Please keep in mind that they LEFT YOU ALONE. They hurt you. You do not want someone who does this to you. Hanging on is only prolonging the inevitable - so start dealing with the situation now and not later.
The great thing about NC is - you'll definitely get over them FASTER. It's like putting a band-aid over your wound and not allowing germs (your ex) get into there and infecting it again.
Lets all put our band aids on and get on with our lives so we can meet the love of our life who will NOT leave us in the cold
At first I thought to myself - this is the way to get him to come back to me by NC. BUT NO. I shouldnt think like that I should be NC to rid of him out of my life. The "right" reason to not call. Which is exactly what I plan to do today! Today is the beginning. If I can last for 7 days, I'M IN THE CLEAR! Update me on how things are goin. We are paralleling the same feelings.
I will have to say, its only been about 5 days now since we've broken up. Its an open wound for me. I am strong throughout the day, its just the morning that gets me. The moment I wake up, its like a terrifying feeling. Its like I wake up - BOOM I'm alone. There no tenderness, nothing for me. But after it, I get a little stronger. I look in the mirror and say - CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS. You dont need a man, you got your sh*t goin and your making more money than him. You dont need anybody buy yourself. i even wrote myself a letter about how freakin awesome i am and read it every hour while i was at work yesterday. it helped me.
At first I thought to myself - this is the way to get him to come back to me by NC. BUT NO. I shouldnt think like that I should be NC to rid of him out of my life. The "right" reason to not call. Which is exactly what I plan to do today! Today is the beginning. If I can last for 7 days, I'M IN THE CLEAR! Update me on how things are goin. We are paralleling the same feelings.
I will have to say, its only been about 5 days now since we've broken up. Its an open wound for me. I am strong throughout the day, its just the morning that gets me. The moment I wake up, its like a terrifying feeling. Its like I wake up - BOOM I'm alone. There no tenderness, nothing for me. But after it, I get a little stronger. I look in the mirror and say - CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS. You dont need a man, you got your sh*t goin and your making more money than him. You dont need anybody buy yourself. i even wrote myself a letter about how freakin awesome i am and read it every hour while i was at work yesterday. it helped me.
Yeah, I'm only on day 5 as well (last thurs was D day) so I know how you feel. I had a real tough time yesterday because he text messaged me but I resisted the urge to respond. CANT DO IT!
The mornings are the worst for me too though I wake up and think, damn another day I have to deal with this. But its getting easier, and will continue to get better with time. Just take it a day at a time, you know?
great advice as usual, i regret responding to my ex in the first place. i assumed it would be a short polite convo, but it snowballed into something much bigger. so beware everyone out there, NC has strange effects on the ex.
I had a good long talk with my mom last night... She knows everything now that has gone on over the last three years.... My mom said to me... that she knew something was wrong.. my personality was changing... I was withdrawn from my family and barely saw them or did anything with them... all my time was with her....
I have lost contact with most of my friends for 3 years cause all my attentions was with her, her family and her friends...
My mom told me that this girl never loved me... it was all a game and she used me...
I tell ya, thats not what I wanted to hear... I said, mom, That is very hurtful for you to say that.. everything seemed so real and true.. the things she said, did at times, acted around me....
Could someone really be with you for 3 years and not love you? Use you for 3 years? never really cared?
This girl use to beg me to have a baby with her... always wanted me to try to get her pregnant... most of the time... she would be upset if I said I didn't want it... so I would say yes I will try but when we would try I never would "finish" but made sure she was totally good and finished.... I don't know if that is mean or not, but deep down I didn't want a baby when she was always so quick to leave me.... it got to the point that her mom and family would always ask her if she was pregnant....
This girl wanted a baby with me... but possible she never loved me for 3 years and it was all a game?
Then after 3 years of having someone like me in her life that cared more for her then her own family, did everything for her and was there for her.... just up and leaves..... no regret? hard to accept ya know?
My mom also said that she will be in for a rude awakening when she finds that most guys won't do what I did for her all the time, won't be there all the time... and my mom said that I should not be fooled but this... cause THAT is the PART she will eventually miss about me.. and may call when she needs a shoulder to cry on or needs something.. and that is when I walk away... She said this girl would of never left the way she did, and then jump right into a relationship if she really had any love or care for me, or any respect for herself....
She is using this guy to get over the loss of me as a companion... and its all new to her and the beginning of a relationship is fun and exciting and she has no regret or bad feelings at all... but it may come later on months or years down the road....
you are so right.. if she did get pregnant by me... it would be all a money game then with support checks... with the money I make at work.. she probably would be getting more from me then she makes at her job.
She don't want her babies father now to have much contact with her... but she took him for child support and he makes only like $300 a week and he has to give her $76.00 weekly....
Location: Heaven won't take me, and hell's afraid I'll take over
Posts: 5,703
Re: Please take note! It will help you
Quote:
Originally posted by J dub
you'd say to your mom "I AM LEAVING and NEVER COMING BACK!" think about how you would feel if she were to say, "Ok, I'll help you pack your bags"
Damn.. My Mom actually DID say that
Great thread JDub
NC is suppose to help in making YOU better not a way of wearing someone else down..
*I think I need to have a chat with my Mom.. WTF is up with that?!*
__________________
Don't be mad at me when I'm mad at you.
you are so right.. if she did get pregnant by me... it would be all a money game then with support checks... with the money I make at work.. she probably would be getting more from me then she makes at her job.
She don't want her babies father now to have much contact with her... but she took him for child support and he makes only like $300 a week and he has to give her $76.00 weekly....
I am very lucky in that aspect
She has another kid on top of it? You really dodged a bullet. She sounds irresponsible, definitely immature. To think she could've snagged your paycheck for the next 18 years... no doubt you'd be hating life right now.
Go find someone who actually cares about you. Don't settle for trash. And make sure to wear a rubber, even when they say they're on the pill. You'll be sorry if you don't.
Last edited by westernxer; 12th July 2005 at 12:16 PM.
Originally posted by ck_guy02
yes she has a 3 year old daughter that I basically raised as my own daughter with her since she was 8 months old.....
nice isn't it....
I know youre still bitter about it all, but it seems to me that you reliving it over and over in these threads, asking questions about what it means and why she did it is only making you worse off.
Over analyzing is what females do - no offense but youre barking up the wrong tree with her, find someone who is worthy of your time and love.
you are so right... I am very lucky in that respect... I sit here and think... damn.. can I imagine having her pregnant right now and she is out with another guy.... and then have to battle to see my child and have to support her for 18 years.. which I know most of the money wouldn't go to the child....
Hell.. she kept all her daughters support checks for herself.. cause I was paying everything anyways...
I guess its very hard for me to accept but I am seeing that her and her family are trash... thats what my sister calls them too... She said they are all trash and will always live like trash and try to bleed off other people....
I thought my ex was different from her family but I guess the saying "a product of your eniviroment" is very true...
and just to think she had me convinced that she hated her family and wanted away from them... and here all along she is just like them..... even to the point now she is at full attention with them and she feels accepted and her ego is sky high....
I can't believe how blind I was.... how come I wasn't smart enough or strong enough to just end things when it first started going on..... If I did I wouldn't be going through this now.....
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and get on with our lives so we can meet the love of our life who will NOT leave us in the cold 
I wake up and think, damn another day I have to deal with this. But its getting easier, and will continue to get better with time. Just take it a day at a time, you know? 
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