[almostthere]

Alright...i bartend friday and saturday nights. my boyfriend yells because i dont come over after work even though hes sleeping!! he gets up at 4am for work so i have to hear his alarm one hour after i fall alseep at his house those two nights. but i stay over to keep the peace i guess youd say. anyway...he wakes up saturday morning and moves my car. while he is out there he snoops through my cell. reading texts, looking at all incoming, outgoing and missed calls. he comes in yelling at (while i was sleeping) throwing my keys at me. i woke up and said what the hell is going on??!! he said i knew it you have something going on with him. hes all over in your phone. this "he" he is speaking of is my old best friend from 12 years that we (my bf and me) bumped into at a bar a few weeks ago. i called my old friend one time. but told him i cant get together for beers because it my made bf uncomfortable. and thats all i have talked to him in 5 weeks. i want to. i want to catch up with him especially since he is moving away to TX for IL labor day. but i dont so my bf doesnt have to worry about anything. anyway..i get dressed and go out to my car...there are no text messages from him, and no where in my received, missed or dialed calls with his name or number. what he saw was a text from a guy at work (the dj) saying i looked hot that night. he didnt read the name on the text and assumed it was my friend and lied about seeing his number in my phone. needless to say we broke up. i worte him a nasty email saying he had no right to blame me for something that he had the proof in front of him i didnt even do. i have no control over the people that text me. the dj and my bf know that i dont want the dj. me and my bf were talking about marrying and moving in together. but not after this. i have printed out who i have called in the past month and i am getting a record of who has called me. just to prove once and for all what an idiot he is for this. i have never heard of anyone doing this before. accuse me for what you know i did wrong but dont dump me because you lied about what i was doing wrong. im fine though with it all. i kept telling him i didnt want to get married anyway right now. that everything felt too soon. so at least i can just concentrate on school and my kids now again. oh well...i just thought that was retarded. i hope he feels folish for this.

[Merin]

Well trust me when I say if something stupid is going to happen, it's usually to me

Honestly while it was un-set for your BF to make accusations regarding the person who he THOUGHT had text messaged you, I've got to say that even if the message in question wasn't/isn't from the EX that you saw out last week.. it was still from another GUY who isn't him (your BF) it's still from a Guy who has an interest in you other than friends.. and so yeah I can see why your BF was pissed about it.

While you can't stop someone from text messaging/calling you, you CAN let them know in no uncertain terms that you're NOT interested in them and not interested in them text messaging/calling you to flirt, know what I mean?

Sounds like your BF has had some issues with not trusting you.. so I guess him freaking out couldn't have been to suprising...

[Cecelius]

I agree with Merin, and I think you do have some control over what other people say to you. I would have deleted the text anyway -- it looks like you were keeping it.

It also sounds like you weren't really into your b/f that much anyway.

[RecordProducer]

I agree that you can cause someone to get upset out of jealousy, just like you can act in a way that will make your partner trust you completely. I don't know how you act, but with jealous people you have to be more careful. He definitely has issues with jealousy.
But all of this is irrelevant in my opinion. The problem is that you broke up with your boyfriend and don't even seem to regret it because he looked at your cell phone. Why do you think he lied about what he saw? Maybe he just didn't figure out who the message was from? Maybe he didn't know it was the DJ.
There are so much more important things in marriage, like how he gets along with your kids, how you feel when you're with him, whether you fight a lot, what are your mutual goal, etc. If all these and other things are great between the two of you, how can you break up because of one stupid - as you named it yourself - argument? You even said "needless to say we broke up."
I think you're impulsive and see things as black OR white. It's important to acknowledge your faults, because then you can control them. Then you can see where some feeling is coming from and look at it from above. You can also say 'I am sorry' when you know you're wrong. You can think twice before you take actions and prevent some stupid things from happening.
Without trying to find a compromise in every situation, no relationship will succeed for you; they will all last only as long as no problems occur. But they always do, sooner or later.

[Sal Paradise]

Yeah I agree, even if the message wasn't from the friend he had a right to get upset. And you could tell this guy not to message you. Don't act totally helpless.

[almostthere]

I wasnt keeping it. i got it as i was bartending that night. i was tired at 3am coming home i didnt clear my messages. and finally...the guy that sent it i have told him nicely and very rudely to leave me alone! im not changing my phone # because of one person. my bf knows that this guy is a problem for me and he does this so he should expect it. i dont know. doesnt matter anymore. we got back together its a dead issue now. till it happens again. but i hate snoops! in am honest person nothing to hide...so leave my things alone.

[almostthere]

...and i didnt break up with him over the cell phone. it was just a good time to do it while we were arguing. he is a know it all and he lies constantly. not about where he is but about his salary, tax returns, friends, childhood....everything. it drives me crazy but i care about him so i dont let go. i know i know shame on me.

i think he just made that whole episode to break up with you. what an idiot. he probably felt guilty for something that he must have done.