Suggestion, opinions, etc. all welcomed.

Here's my situation: I have a beautiful girlfriend of 10 months and we are crazy in love with eachother. However, she began dating me within weeks of breaking up with her ex (they had a very strange "on and off again" relationship; not normal -- saw eachother only once a month etc.). It's been 10 months now and she has had a couple break downs, questioning whether she should be with him or me. She loves me horribly -- this I know for certain -- but she was with this guy for 3 years, however, only one of which was romantic. I've told her she just needs time to heal and then she can persue a friendship with him.

I love her so much and I know she love me just the same; however, I don't know how to help her get past her ex! She will be returning to ASU in a month, and we will be wihin minutes of eachother for the whole year. But she is in Texas for the summer and will be going to her annual camp for two weeks where her ex just so happens to counsel at as well.

Any advice?

Thanks guys,
Jordan

[UCFKevin]

She can't love you and question being with you at the same time. One of these things is not like the other.

It doesn't sound good. I'd be REALLY bummed out about this, if I were in your shoes. And I'd probably have to walk away from it.

I agree.

I just got off the phone with her 10 minutes ago. I could tell from the tone of her voice that she was going to go into one of her relapses again; telling me how she still thinks about him (her ex), so I finally told her if she wants to be with him then do it! I'm not going to put up with this anymore!

She got very upset (previous times she had done this I was very calm and tried to reassure her of how great our relationship is). She told me she is going to "take care of this" immediately.

She just called me back and told me she talked to him and has explained to him that they cannot see or talk to eachother what so ever anymore. He got very upset I guess, and she's still talking to him as I write this.

Well, for whoever cares: you are as up-to-date as myself. I don't want to scrap the relationship so I hope this "ultimatem" of sorts shows her that I am not going to continue sharing her love with her ex.

What do you guys think?

[UCFKevin]

You're competing for her emotions. That's not love. That SUCKS. You should NOT have to do this whatsoever. She's torn. She has no clue what to do. She's not a bad person because of this, but there is basically a 50/50 chance of you getting your heartbroken. Those are pretty awful odds, I think.

[Cecelius]

She's not really your g/f. But you are her emotional tampon.

I think you back off and let her know that when she has her head on straight, fine, but until then she's a drag.

A relationship should be a plus in your life