[moimeme]

would you still love the murdering child?

Karla Homolka is about to be released from prison. She and her husband murdered her younger sister. Her father (maybe her mother too) continues to say he supports and loves her. I can't fathom this. Then again, I'm nobody's mother.

So if it were you? What about if any family member killed another? I don't mean if it was a murder committed when the family member was suffering from something like postpartum depresson or schizophrenia but if it was a person like this who seems to have never been deemed any sort of mentally ill.

[d'Arthez]

I cannot imagine it myself fully. The closest to a dysfunction in my (extended) family we have gotten so far is a divorce.

But if something happened, such as Karla did, I would have probably a hard time to love the perpetrator. And I would definitively consider the perpetrator mentally ill.

Over here, before she would be released she would have to undergo (if that is what she was sentenced to) a lot of psychiatric treatment and observation. If the psychiatrists say that she is still a risk to society, she would not get out in all likelihood, even though she may have served her sentence.
How are things with regards to psychiatric observation and treatment in Canada?

[Naive]

I am not a mother either but I really think that I would not be able to forgive that oother child if they killed one of their sister's or brother's. I am sure my heart would be completely broken.

[Tony]

I think I'd be really pissed because of the one less tax deduction. (That wasn't a very sensitive remark, sorry!)

[moimeme]

How are things with regards to psychiatric observation and treatment in Canada?

We for sure have that.

Actually, I have to correct myself - it's been a while and I forgot all the details of that case. She didn't actively murder her sister but she helped drug her so her sicko husband could rape her. Her sister died of aspiration so it was called 'manslaughter'. Still - Karla claims she was a victim of her controlling husband. Other inmates who have known her (notably a couple of her lesbian lovers) have said she's not at all repentant and is a master manipulator who has done a good job of persuading people she was a victim.

She has been deemed a potential danger and that's why restrictions have been placed on her:

After two days of arguments, Judge Jean R. Beaulieu agrees that Karla Homolka may pose a risk to society after she is released. He places several restrictions on her freedom that are to take effect after she is released. They include:
She is to tell police her home address, work address and who she lives with.
She has to notify police as soon as any of the above changes.
She will also have to notify police of any change to her name.
If she wants to be away from her home for more than 48 hours, she will have to give 72 hours notice.
She cannot contact Paul Bernardo, the families of Leslie Mahaffy and Kristen French or Jane Doe. She also may not contact any violent criminals.
She also will be forbidden from being with people under the age of 16 and from consuming drugs other than prescription medicine.
Continue therapy and counselling.
Provide police with a DNA sample.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/bernardo/

I think I'd be really pissed because of the one less tax deduction. (That wasn't a very sensitive remark, sorry!)

I'd tease you about seeming heartless but that would be 'banter', I'm sure

[Craig]

If I had children I could still love the child but hate their actions. I don't think I could "love and support" the child at the same time. Love yes, support no. Since this is a crime that I just can't comprehend, I would support removing them from society to prevent them from harming others (but not by the death penalty because I don't believe murdering someone for a crime serves the greater good.)

There's a saying that "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree" and maybe that is why Karla's father say's he supports and loves her.

I couldnt fathom the unimaginable torment her family - parents are going thru. Love doesn't stop because we've been hurt and a parents love for their child is the strongest love I know. It would be sheer torment for the parents because I ould guess they are devastated at one loss of life and one loss of soul. they are probably blaming themsel ves too. I guess saying 'i love you and want your health and happiness' is support of a sort and I would be able to do that, even while grieving and devastated

[d'Arthez]

Extreme masochism - that is what I loosely translate her condition as, if she is telling the truth - is a very dangerous condition. You only need a "strong" sadist finding her and she will in all likelihood have no problem at all committing whatever her symbiot requires of her. She seems to have no problem to be involved in a plan with elements of murder or extreme sexual abuse (like she was with her sister). Releasing her is just asking for the same to happen again.

If I was in any familial relationship to such a person I would have to ask to keep him / her locked up for psychiatric treatment.

[Zaira]

If you love your children equally, then of course you would still love them. However, I think a whole range of emotions would come in to it. I don't think it's really something I can comment on, until I have been in the position, and I seriously hope I never am.

[Kat]

I would still love my child. How I feel towards them I couldn't say

[RecordProducer]

I sometimes hear my twins saying about each other "I want to kill him" or "I wish he didn't exist." I know they don't get the concept of it being that they are 6-year old, but it hurts me a lot to hear such crap.
In a case like this, god forbid, I know I wouldn't forgive or get over it ever. I don't know how exactly I would feel or act, but there is absolutely nothing that my child could do that would make me stop loving him. It would be painful, destroyed, and bitter love, definitely diminished, but never lost. It would be a fight of two opposite feelings for me.
The pain for the lost child is joined with the pain that your own flesh and blood is a murderer of your own kid and their own sibling. It's a pile of disasterous feelings. However they probably have nothing to do with the punishment.
It's weird to be a mother!

[lostgurl21]

I just finished watching the interview with Karla on t.v. It was so weird to watch the part where the interviewer asks her about her relationship with her family and what she did to her little sister... there was very little emotion. And i don't know how her mother and her could have such a good relationship after what she did... to her family and the other poor families.

[ReluctantRomeo]

Originally posted by Craig
There's a saying that "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree" and maybe that is why Karla's father say's he supports and loves her.

Sadly, I have to agree. These things don't come out of nowhere.

[tiki]

Originally posted by moimeme
would you still love the murdering child?

For me, love for your child is unconditional. No matter what he's done, I will always love him.

[EnigmaXOXO]

While I would always "love" the child she once was, I could not acknowledge the stranger she had become. I suppose as a parent I would be grieving the loss of my daughters as if they were both dead. And for my own sanity, I'd have to treat her as such. Can't imagine wanting to live next door to someone like this, let alone inviting them back into my family and home.

I suppose for a parent it would be absolutely necessary to maintain some level of denial and believe that your child was somehow "controlled" by an outside influence. You wouldn't be able to wrap your mind around what they had done otherwise.