Hi, I am new to this forum and I thank all of you in advance for any advice you may have. I am 23 years old and i have been in a relationship for 8 years, we started going out when I was 15 and although our relationship has had its ups and downs for the most part we haven't had any major problems. We are living together but have no children. The problem is that I haven't really (emotionally) been with another person and I also feel like I am missing out on dating, going out and having fun etc. I feel bad for feeling this way however because I love my bf very much and I don't want to hurt him, I don't want to leave him but I can't stop feeling that I am missing out. We just had our eighth year anniversary and although I should have been happy it was kind of depressing. Any feedback or advice is much appreciated.
Unfortunately though I don't think you have many options. You can't really start dating (and having feelings) behind his back, so either you break up with him and see how it goes with other people..... or be satisfied with what you have.
Once upon a time, there was a teacher and his student. One day they were
lying down under a big tree on a grassy plain. Then, suddenly, the
student asked the teacher, Teacher, I'm confused, how can I find my
soul-mate..? Can you please help me..?
Teacher : Silent for few seconds, then he answered, well; it's a pretty
hard and easy question.
Student : (Thinking hard) Huh???
Teacher : Look that way, there's a lot of grass there, why don't you
walk there, but please never walk backward, just walk straight ahead.
On your way, try to find a beautiful blade of grass and pick it up, then
give it to me. But just ONE blade of grass!
Student : Well, ok then.. wait for me.. walked straight ahead on the
grass field.
A few minutes later..
Student : I'm back.
Teacher : Erm, well I don't see any beautiful blade of grass in your
hand.
Student : On my journey, I found a few beautiful blades of grass, but
each time I thought that I would find a better one, so I didn't pick it
up.
But I didn't realize that I'm at the end of the field, and
I hadn't picked up any. 'Cause you told me not to go back, so I didn't
go back.
Teacher : That's what happens in real life..
What is the message of this story..?
In looking for your soul mate, please don't always compare and Hope that
there will be a better one. By doing that, you'll waste your lifetime,
'coz remember Time Never Goes Back".
It applies similarly in finding your ideal life partner, your suitable,
career or business opportunity
__________________
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Love!!~ WTF is that ???
I also feel like I am missing out on dating, going out and having fun etc.
I wish I could tell you that this feeling will 'pass', but it won't. Have you talked to your b/f about this? You probably should - there is no reason to let it build up inside you. If it does, your feelings of restlessness will turn into resentment and your loving relationship will seem more like an obligation every day. Perhaps if you and he have an open and honest talk about this you two can figure out where to go with your relationship. He needs to know how you are feeling. Perhaps there are things that he is privately feeling that he needs to tell you about, too. You don't have to look at this like a break - rather, a re-evaluation of your relationship in which you both catch the other up to which page you happen to be on at this time. In every relationship, there reaches a point where there are things left unsaid that could threaten the relationship, but if left unsaid - they will surely destroy the love that motivates the relationship.
__________________ No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks. --Mary Wollstonecraft
Thank you for your replies. I have a difficult decision to make, I love my bf and he has never done anything like cheat on me or be abusive or anything that would make it easy to leave this relationship. I am also scared to death of leaving this relationship because I have never been an independant adult- I have always been with him and living with him for much of the time. But I am not just staying with him because I am scared to be alone I have very strong feelings for him.
I have talked to my bf about my feelings, he was kind of hurt because he thought things were going well in our relationship. But he says he understands where I am comming from and he feels bad that he "took away my youth" -as he put it. He says that it is my decision to make and that I need to make it and let him know when I do. I don't want to rush this but I feel I should put a time limit on my decision so I don't just say "things will work themselves out".
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
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