Ok, Im a 16 yr old girl, and I have a crush on a 19 yr old guy friend that I have been hanging out with (in a group, with 3 other guys most of the time) for several months. I am really shy, but I don't want this guy to get away from me. I have no problem confronting him about my feelings, but I am afraid of the consequences that could come from the rest of the group of friends if I do so. I met these guys by way of one of them asking me out, I declined his offer, but he was real cool about it and invited me to come over a few weeks later and play some video games with them. I had no problems with him and could see myself being friends with him, so I went over and met the other guy that I now have a crush on... the older brother of the guy that asked me out.

Somehow recently the older brother has discovered that I like him (he was ignoring signals forever, somehow I think one of the other guys might have picked up on it and told him, but I can't be sure). We talked briefly about the situation, and I can't tell for sure if he's even interested in me, but neither he nor myself wants to risk dating as his brother might be hurt by that quite a lot (he has kinda shown that he continues to care about me, but I don't know how much... he's the only one of my guy friends that hugs me before I leave, but I don't pick up any real signals from him anymore).

I really don't know where to go with this... if I try to pursue a relationship with the older brother then there is a great chance that I'll end up causing a lot of trouble within this group of good friends, but I don't know how easily I can get over my feelings for him. Not to mention the fact that our relationship wouldn't technically be 'legal' for another year, and I get the feeling that he may use that excuse to avoid dating a high school girl (I'll be a senior, i'm young for my grade level, and he'll be a college sophomore... he might have some reservations about that, but IDK).

Please, I need advice on what to do here before I end up screwing things up for this group of friends (I haven't thought about it much, but even though I really only still hang out with them to have a reason to be close to my crush, I really care for all of these guys).

[shiben]

first of all..... just relax girl .... . see y its always guys who ask girls out?
SHYNESS of gals!!!! thats wat!

listen, when u r a girl, u hav a major advantage on boys that u dont hav 2 do nething...
it always guys who hav 2 take the 1st step.
So y not take the advantage of taking the 1st step b4 the situation gets more complex?

and do rmr... never show him that u r completely flattered 4 him, boys bcome proud in such cases and will ignore u (i m a guy and i m saying it myself)

How could that possibly help? I waited 5 months for this guy to pick up on my signals, and I don't think that he even got them, but was told by someone else. If he was going to make a move, I think he would have done it already. I'm pretty sure that, if he even in fact feels the same way about me, that he wouldn't dare do anything as his brother has had severe depressive (possible even suicidal, that topic has never come up in conversation) tendencies.

[shiben]

alrite ur problem seems serious! if u really think the guy knows that u r out 4 him.... and if he is not responding,
then there can b 2 reasons of it:

1. he is really feeling bad 4 his brother and just want 2 let go thinking everything will settle down soon
2. he doesnt care about his brother, and (as i said) his pride is on Moon, and want 2 hav fun in the current situation

try 2 analyse (u interact wid the bros, u wud know better) which of the above 2 cases it is....

if its [1], then dont wait a second & tell him directly everything (i already told u that girls hav an advantage) and if fear is a problem, dont go face 2 face.. try on phone.

if its [2], then 1st of all dont think he is a bad guy.... its human nature. convince him indirectly that u r 4 his brother now (i know this is mean but thats the way things r), he will come after u immediately

That still doesn't really help the problem, I know I have to figure out whether or not the older brother is in to me or not, but even if he is our relationship cannot move forward until I can determine what to do about the younger. I really don't want to hurt a friend, but I've been unable to move on with my social life as of late because I'm just so caught up in the older brother.

[shiben]

c wat i meant by my points was...
u will surely reach at a conclusion. it may b gud or bad... but the sooner it gets over, the better!

if the conclusion is gud: u got him baby!!!
if its bad: i bet a better guy is waiting 4 u somewhere

No offense shiben, I appreciate your input, but can someone else lend their advice to this situation? I don't think I'll be able to get over my feelings for this guy unless I go no-contact with him, which would pretty much ruin my social life right now as this group of guys are about the only people I've been hanging out with this summer. I know that staying away from them would probably help me to move on, as well as help the younger brother do the same, but I don't especially want to spend the rest of summer vacation locked up in my house (all of my other friends are out of town).