[MLCinCC]

I've been out of the dating scene for many years... I just started seeing someone new. What do I say after a first date that went well? Thanks.

MLCinCC

[centered]

"I had a really great time!" If he treated you to dinner or something, point that out: "Thank you for treating me to dinner." Guys like to be acknowledged when they pay for something. Good manners are always attractive. If you want another date, add this: "I hope we can try some other fun things together." Then smile. If you are attracted to him, he'll read a lot into that comment, and take it as healthy flirting. You're not promising anything, but you *are* letting him know you're interested, and it will encourage him to call and step up to the plate.

After a second date, if it goes well, it's your turn to make plans. Hopefully you've found out something about him that he likes. Plan a date you can afford that shows you were listening to his likes and dislikes. I made a picnic lunch once and we hiked to a nearby hill and enjoyed the view on a nice Saturday afternoon. Another date, I cooked a nice dinner with his favorites. One other guy I treated to a day at the zoo. Fun stuff, no pressure, and good memories.

Not much has changed, really. We have to deal with more STD's than we did 20 years ago. Internet dating is a new experience. But at our age, some of the pressure is off to get married and have kids, and we can just enjoy being with someone. Take your time and enjoy the company.

[Chipmonk]

To be even more direct ... make sure you mention a specific time in the future (or at least hint at one).

"I had a lot of fun, maybe we can do this again sometime" is a classic I-don't-want-to-date-you-but-am-too-polite-to-say-it line (which guys hate) - that sometime usually turns into one or two "I'm busy, maybe later" phone calls before the guy takes a hint and gives up.

"That was a great dinner. Can I impose on you for another dinner next weekend?" is an invitation to be asked out again - soon.

The actual words don't matter ... but if you hint at a time in the future when you can go on another date (note: you're not asking, you're just hinting that he should ask), it makes it very easy on him; if he's interested, he'll take the hint.


Hey... uh, Centered and I have both assumed you are female, anyone care to offer advice for a male? (I would, but I haven't found anything that works at all...)

[centered]

Originally posted by Chipmonk
Hey... uh, Centered and I have both assumed you are female, anyone care to offer advice for a male? (I would, but I haven't found anything that works at all...)

I checked her profile before replying -- no assumptions.

I know what *I'd* like from a guy in terms of communication: Do what you say and say what you mean! Simple. And if a guy plays stupid grade-school games with me, like waiting several days before calling, he's gonna be disappointed to find I wasn't pining for his call and may already have a date with a new guy. So, fellas, if you say you're going to call, call. And if you don't want to, don't offer. Again, good manners are always enough. A simple "thank you" will do, and if there wasn't a connection, just say so. It saves the woman a lot of guessing and wasted time, too.