Until a couple of days ago I was still a virgin. My 'friend w/ benefits" and I have slept together almost every night since than, and she seems to enjoy herself. When we hug and snuggle and have fun in for-play I get aroused easily (I’m a guy). But when it comes to sex I’m not as erect and find myself going limp towards the end of the activity (not like after ejaculation, just like we you get a hard one and you ignore and it goes down).... and I get no enjoyment out of it, I cant even climate or ejaculate. It so bad that I have to fake an organism (well make it seem like I'm in pleasure) and then act like I have finished. Only after I’m sure he has enjoyed her self thoroughly.... After sex she would ask "Why do you go so long?" of course I answer w/ some cocky guy answer. Any other time I get unwanted erection while around her but when it come to sex I don’t know what happens. She is a very attractive women (I MEAN REALLYATTRACTIVE) and I'm not gay (trust me), so what the hell going on. Is there something I can do to up my sensitivity, or at least be able to enjoy sex? Or is there something wrong with me? I'm lost can any of you help me, what should I do. PLEASE HELP!!!!!!
This is going to sound fairly pervy, but when you masturbate do you tend to do it roughly, with a lot of pressure or fairly fast? It may be that you are used to a certain type of stimulation for having your orgasm than this girl's body is able to provide.
I hope that BigB (a member here) will chime in. He brought up that in another post and it makes perfect sense to me - if you get yourself conditioned to come under certain circumstances - then it will be hard to come under different circumstances.
This is a lot more common than you might think. I had the same problem with my first partner as did two close friends of mine, and, through female friends, I've heard of other men who've experienced it too.
I was just honest with the girl about the problem, she was patient, we relaxed into it and tried over a period of weeks. Eventually, I did ejaculate inside her (amazing moment) and, with only a few little reoccurances here and there, I've been absolutely fine ever since.
Talk to your friend and allow her to help you.
Lucrezia's comment is also valid, though. The only other time that I had problems ejaculating with a woman was after I'd been through a period of masturbation using a rather 'unique' technique which was quite unlike penetrative sex. I stopped masturbating in this way and the problem, again, was solved.
I think you just have first time nerves, though.
Good luck and, don't forget, you're not alone. Just not many of us are honest about it....!
Fred, how long did it take you to get over this, because my partner cant be together much longer she is leavin soon to go home. Until than we live together.
As far as I can remember, it took me around two weeks. I'd get a little better each time - maintaining my erection for longer etc. and then one day it just happened.
I did lapse a few times after that but I started to ejaculate with her regularly. This then became more regular.
See, I think it can be a psychological problem after a while. After it happens, you worry about it and this makes matters worse. Once you start the get on top of the problem, you stop worrying so much and it becomes easier.
Also, try different positions and maybe pick the one you're most comfortable with and concentrate on that.
i don't think of it as a psycolgical promblem cuz i feel really confrontable around her. Instead I think Its just something I need to train my body to defiently....
*sry this my be a lil too descriptive*
[quote]maintaining my erection for longer
i dont have a promblem with maintaining my erection it just the quility of it...
we have gone hours sometimes... i get so close but never there.... v.v
Thank You again... I hope it doesn't Take me long to get outta of this situation.
Yeah, I was the same, I suppose. Quality was the main problem, but sometimes I'd become limp because I'd begin an internal panic.
As I said, an understanding girl who you're very comfortable with is the real weapon when it comes to beating this thing and it sounds like you have that, so I'm sure you'll be fine.
Yeah, this is exactly what you should do. Although, if you and your girlfriend are sexually active very regularly then I suppose you could stop altogether.
More long term, though, if your technique does not mimic penetrative intercourse, and this is when you have difficulty ejaculating, then, yes, you should masturbate in a more natural way.
It may take a lot of effort! It did for me. But persevere, my friend, because it's worth it in the end. As you get better you can also try loosening your grip a little and, if you can achieve orgasm this way, then you'll have no problem with a girl.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
I can't enjoy sex, y? (a male asking)
Linear Mode
