I am 28 years old and divorced now for 2 yrs. My question is a simple one but i dont think i quite understand the right prospective on it. I am seeing a woman that is 30 and she recently broke up with her boyfriend of 5 yrs. We have only been seeing each other for a couple of weeks. she tells her friends that she really likes me but she wants to be sure i understand that she wants to go SLOW! To be honest i have not dated in 9 yrs so i am curious what does SLOW really mean. PLease help because im really interested in her and i dont want to mess things up by going to fast. any advice or experience you could lend would be a big help.

[Artscrafter]

Slow is a relative term, so it's hard to define abstractly. Taking it slow means that you wait until you're both comfortable with whatever steps you'll be taking, but since everyone's ideas on the timing are different, you can't really nail down "taking it slow" to a specific timeframe.

Try talking to her about it. Open communication is a good thing to have in a relationship anyway, and she'll probably appreciate this as long as you don't make yourself sound impatient.

[westernxer]

It means she's still not over her ex of five years and may possibly break up with you at any time.

[ConfusedInOC]

Originally posted by westernxer
It means she's still not over her ex of five years and may possibly break up with you at any time.

Pretty much.

It also means that she isn't mentally ready to jump into another hot and heavy relationship.

Read my LOVE MUST BE TOUGH thread so you have a refresher on what to do and what not to do starting this new relationship.

Cheers.

[HoneyWheat]

Originally posted by cdroop1977
I am 28 years old and divorced now for 2 yrs. My question is a simple one but i dont think i quite understand the right prospective on it. I am seeing a woman that is 30 and she recently broke up with her boyfriend of 5 yrs. We have only been seeing each other for a couple of weeks. she tells her friends that she really likes me but she wants to be sure i understand that she wants to go SLOW! To be honest i have not dated in 9 yrs so i am curious what does SLOW really mean. PLease help because im really interested in her and i dont want to mess things up by going to fast. any advice or experience you could lend would be a big help.

if a guy says it, he means he's not interested and he wants to play the field or he met someone else and is dumping you

if a girl says is, she means she's not ready for a commitment or sex, and she wants to play the field

[Lilyann]

It could simply mean that she just wants to take her time and not rush.

[Cecelius]

She does not want the amount of annoyance involved (drama, scheduling, etc.) in a relationship to exceed the pleasure value.

[nicki]

It could mean she doesn't want to get hurt again...Just go out, have fun, let her lead the pace. Don't kiss her until you get strong signals from her that she wants you to.

And don't have sex with her for a while. Maybe it will take her 7 or 8 dates, whatever SHE WANTS. Be patient, but let her know you find her desirable by giving her compliments, checking her out a little, that kind of stuff...but not creepy, just a little bit...

Be confident, laid back, fun, easy. Her heart is still healing. You don't want her to rush into things with you, then six months later back herself off.

Oh, and if she wants to talk about her ex, don't let her go on too much. You could slip into friend zone. She has enough girlfriends to discuss him with. Be the new MAN, who is not associated with him in any way.

It might be good for you to find out why they broke up, but if she goes on and on about him, you could say, "Wow, I don't know how you put up with that." Then change the subject and make things fun....(my new boyfriend did that and it worked great!)

Enjoy yourself and relax. If she was in a relationship for 5 years, then she is definitely loyal, which is good for you...

[Naive]

Originally posted by westernxer
It means she's still not over her ex of five years and may possibly break up with you at any time.

Ditto!

So what if a girl says she likes you but she wants to take it real slow? what do u do then? do u stick with her or assume she means she is playing the field? she still calls u and stuff does that mean she is still interested?