I wouldnt have thought of this if she didnt ask me if I was seeing anyone else...I told her "no", but there is someone who I know likes me and is always over me when I see her. I was considering telling her that there is someone else just to see her reaction but I wasnt sure if she would more likely get pissed and never talk to me again which I dont want, or be happy for me and such which I dont want either. You're right merin...shoulda said nunya
Well, I am not serious about it anymore, it was just how I was thinking yesterday. I thought it might have been a good idea but my mind has changed even before reading the replies. Every action I think about, I should wait atleast a day and see if my feelings are as strong as the day before about them before I do something stupid.
Yes, I do still have feelings for my ex. I know I can find someone else that makes me happy and that I will love, but anyone can do that, so why should I find that someone else?
lindya - Yes many people brought forth their opinions, and I told everyone how much I appreciate it. If it werent for you wonderful people, I most likely wouldnt have truly realized what I put her through, and I know I wouldnt have tried to get professional help (which is coming up soon). This new thread I brought up was what I was thinking yesterday, and I dont think it anymore. In fact, I stopped thinking about it like 10 min after I posted it. Thats why I said I am going to think everything over before any action takes place. I am not going back to how I was. This was simply one of my "if I do this, will she get back with me" things, and I wouldnt have done it anyway because I think that if I did, something would definitely be wrong with me (other than my other problems).
I am definitely not AS controlling as before. I still want to see what help I can get from this doctor for that. I know for a FACT that the abusive part is done with completely. If I love her, I shouldnt want to make her feel bad. Its common sense but something didnt click in my head and make me think "wtf am I doing". I havent decided completely to move on, but she calls me and stuff and I want to answer. I dont bug her what-so-ever anymore, and everything we say to each other is short and sweet, well maybe the stuff she says isnt sweet, but oh well.
blue - Yesterday, that was my motive, to see what her reaction would be to try and get her back.
In short, I am not going to do this, it was a mistake for thinking like this in the first place. Thanks for the input!
Aares - go back and look at the "girlfriend won't get back with me" thread that you started in the Second Chances section of the board. A lot of posters spent time and trouble responding to this in an effort to help you see some sense. The unanimous view from both males and females - and, indeed, yourself - was that you were abusive and controlling towards this girl during the relationship and that is why she now, very sensibly, would like you stay away from her. 
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