So I have a question. On a first date we all know is like a job interview but what exactly is it women are looking for or trying to size you up against? Obiously, if she sets up a second date (as in my case) she obviously saw potential there or is really bored or something this weekend For instance, on my first date which was just Tuesday she asked me questions such as:
Do you like kids?
Do you plan on having kids?
Ever been to jail?
Stuff like that, probably pretty typical questions I would suppose. Also, is it a sign of desperation when after the date they txt you and say "Had a great time looking forward to it again soon"? Or how about the next afternoon txting and saying "Thinking of you, hope you are having a great day!"? But back to my dates...Most of my dates prior to this one really didn't care to ask personal questions. As for the second date, she has suggested we go to a bar for drinks and then to a movie. Not a typical date in my book, especially with the drinking part. Most women I know refuse to drink on date until they develop trust with the guy. So this kinda bafffles me.
It really depends on what she is looking for. Sometimes it is like an interview because she wants to know if you have long-term potential, or doesn't want to waste her time, or maybe she was just making conversation and couldn't think of anything else to say.
If she wants to get to know you, rather than talk about herself all night, she's asking questions to get you talking.
But also some dates are just a chance to go out and do something fun whether or not you know that person very well. In this case I would doubt such personal questions be asked.
The not-drinking on the first date is probably a good idea, but I think if she wants to go for drinks, she just wants to have a good time on the second date. But that's just me and my opinion.
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On a first date if I really like the person then I ask more personal questions.. about his family does he have siblings, does the rest of his family live here.. things of that nature.
Do I think it's a sign of desperation to text message and say you had a great time.. No I don't.
The only time I can think another message would be inappropriate would be if I didn't hear another word from the Guy in question after the first text was sent... you can definately go over board if you're not careful.
Last thing, I don't think theres anything wrong with drinks on a date, it isn't like she suggested the 2 of you go out and get drunk right?! LOL so IMO theres nothing wrong with that.
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I agree with the others, it all depends on what she is looking for and what point in her life she is at. Some wont ask personal questions at all, in fact they will expect YOU to ask THEM...so it just depends!!
The drinking part - I say why not? Dont get drunk as that would be pretty unattractive, but a couple wont hurt.
The text messages - the first one is cute and simple and delivers a nice closing. The second is tipping the desperation scale though (assuming they are both coming from one person). Of course thats my opinion, but thats what I would think.
How about her calling me the next day and setting up a date for 2 days later? How is that on the desperation scale? I just want to determine if this girl is interested in me or is just desperate for attention/money/man, etc.
As for the second date, she has suggested we go to a bar for drinks and then to a movie. Not a typical date in my book, especially with the drinking part. Most women I know refuse to drink on date until they develop trust with the guy.
I agree. She seems like she's comfortable with you. And she wants to have fun with you. Or she could be an alcoholic.
Quote:
Originally posted by Merin
On a first date if I really like the person then I ask more personal questions.. about his family does he have siblings, does the rest of his family live here.. things of that nature.
Any girl who asks me questions like that, I always figure I could have my way with her.
How about her calling me the next day and setting up a date for 2 days later? How is that on the desperation scale? I just want to determine if this girl is interested in me or is just desperate for attention/money/man, etc.
Thanks!
That's interest, not desperation. Desperation is if she calls you several times a day or starts asking when you plan to get married. Sounds like you're in there!
Re: What Is a Woman's Perspective on a First Date?
Do you like kids? = She wants kids, or has some already.
Do you plan on having kids? = If you don't, she won't want you. Plus her clock is ticking.
Ever been to jail? = Her ex is in jail, or she dated a lot of losers who've been there.
Thanks Gang. As Westernxer said red flags. He actually hit them right on the head. After having a few drinks she discussed a 5 year plan she would like to have. Never met girl who scripted out her future like this.
6-1 year of dating
1.5-2 years from now marriage
1-2 years after marriage kids
Isn't that a little odd? She said she just told me to make sure I am on the same page. She is 24 and I'm 25, and while I would like to be married before 28-30 I don't have a timeline per se.
Originally posted by mark1210
Thanks Gang. As Westernxer said red flags. He actually hit them right on the head. After having a few drinks she discussed a 5 year plan she would like to have. Never met girl who scripted out her future like this.
6-1 year of dating
1.5-2 years from now marriage
1-2 years after marriage kids
Isn't that a little odd? She said she just told me to make sure I am on the same page. She is 24 and I'm 25, and while I would like to be married before 28-30 I don't have a timeline per se.
Well now you tell us! That's kind of different to just asking if you potentially want kids. I agree with Westernxer - run, don't walk, to the next available woman!
Are you going to tell her that this "will you or will you not fit into my structured lifeplan?" was a turn off? It would be interesting to know how she'd react to that.
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For instance, on my first date which was just Tuesday she asked me questions such as:
What prompted her to ask that?
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