MMK, so my g/f hass basically dumped me for the 3rd time. I still love her so thats why I let her come back each time, she wanted to get back together each time(well so did I but I took her back)*. Right now she is going through a really difficult time in her life, like really bad. And I have a feeling that she takes some of that emotional stress out on our relationship. I really like this girl, but she has some issues, and I just don't know how to help her cause she pushes me away each time. I cant possibly be the one to say, "its over" cuase that would just hurt her so bad. And I'm affraid of hurting her like that.... We both said to each other "you are the one!", but now, its falling apart on her end. What can I do?
Personally, I think you need to be concerned about you. Do you really think its ok to be taking on her stress as you own. PLEASE! She knows exactly what she's doing and the more she's pushes you away the more keep on coming. REALITY CHECK! SHE LIKES THAT YOU KEEP ON COMING. Leave her be and let her fight her own demons cuz while you're trying to help her she's pushing.
Stop putting yourself in a position to be hurt. Tell the girl that she needs help, and set her up with some counseling if necessary - tell her that the help she needs is help that you are not qualified or obligated to give her, and wish her luck on her way to finding some happiness within herself. The best way to do this is to remove yourself from the 'security blanket' position. As long as you are in the picture, she will use you and your relationship as an excuse to not face and resolve her problems. She thinks the answer is in you and the relationship - and it simply isn't. So, out of love for her - you will need to push her onto the right path, which for right now - means pushing her away from you. Tell her you need some time to yourself while she gets started with counseling, and force yourself to withdraw from her for at least a month until she can get a start in the right direction.
__________________ No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks. --Mary Wollstonecraft
I'm just not good with goodbyes. Even more so, the goodbye forever messege I got. I just can't deal with the guilt trip I was put on just now, and the "forever" crap. Shes blind to the fact that she needs me, and more than ever now. But she is just pushing me away and saying there is a problem on my end. I want to know whats the deal with her..... Sigh.....
YOU can't hurt her???????
What about her hurting you.....
Wake up and be a man. She has dumped you 3 times and you're still afraid of letting her go. She has let you go. Don't be her friend. It won't work for you. Stand up for what YOU want.
Tell her to get some therapy if she's messed up. You can't save/rescue or even HELP somebody if they are not asking for it. Let her have some space. If she wants to sort it out or talk to you she will get intouch with you.
Find some hobbies and get busy - sink yourself in to that and hopefully that will distract you NOT to worry/think about her.
How long has this relationship been going on? She's dumped you 3x in span of when? How many times - and what is the break in between?
You are saying you can't possibly be the one to leave her because that would hurt her. She is hurting you. I have a friend in a similar situation except they have broken up 20 times. Is that what you want?
Unfortunately, breaking up is so hard to do but you and her will not move on unless you take the hard step and break up with no contact.
There is a better life out there. You need to be the one to go and get it!
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
I just can't deal with the guilt trip I was put on just now, and the "forever" crap. Shes blind to the fact that she needs me, and more than ever now. But she is just pushing me away and saying there is a problem on my end. I want to know whats the deal with her..... Sigh.....
Take control
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