I believe it will vary based on the age of the couple, their past experiences, status of their current relationship and their agreement on where they want to relationship to go.
We will be dating six months. We have made a long-term committment to one another. He is my best friend, my lover and my companion at all levels. We have a hard time going a day without seeing each other, even if it is just to be in the same room. It seems as though the only logical step is to move in.
We will get married/engaged in the next couple of years. We have discussed children, buying a home, etc. Everything is amazing... an open, honest, communicative environment to foster a healthy relationship.
We know it takes work.
I cannot imagine spending a night without him. We go back and forth every night.
Stories on peoples experiences would really help... both good and bad.
Also, one of the bedrooms will be an office?! Does anyone see that as a greater challenge?
I think you need a minimum of a year before you move in together. The first three months is about infatuation phase. Three to six months is still jolly though maybe a flaw or two appears. Between six months and a year, bigger flaws will start to become evident. If you make it to a year, it's a better possibility that there may be no major problems that will eventually split you.
We have both been in relationships and lived with people.
He is 33.
I am 26.
We have discussed and are in the process of discussing how we would address issues with changes, etc. We have also laid our our personal goals and expectations with and without each other.
AFter three months my husband and I talked about moving in together and did at five months. We got engaged at eight months and married at seventeen months. We both had our share of relationships beforehand (we are in our 30s) so we knew what we did and did not want. It just felt right. That was the choice we made, but this is a very personal choice that will depend on the couple.
No, it's not a must do step at this point. No one's holding a gun to your head. Why the rush if you're so sure it's meant to be? For one thing, not being able to spend a day without each other seems kind of co-dependent to me. I have friends who were like this. Got divorced after they had a baby because they were so focused on each other, and he couldn't take it when she had to focus on the baby. If you can't spend even a day apart, what are you going to do if something happens to force time away from each other?
I totally agree with moimeme on all her points. There's no rush. If you're truly meant to be together, there will be plenty of time.
perhaps i make it seem like co-dependence in the terms i use but i must say that is not the case.
i am an entrepreneur in several large projects that will require me to leave for 5-7 days at a time in the future. he is sucessful in his work and has a son who visits every second weekend (never married). we participate in many group sports and activities, family events, private activites together, as well as take time on our own with our friends, etc.
also, you are right. it is not a MUST DO thing. it is just what feels so right at this time for both of us...
i will be making a list of topics to ensure we discuss everything before we make the final decision. as of late, July 31st will be the day.
It's good to see that you aren't reacting defensively. I think that shows that you have a cool head on your shoulders, which will bode well for your relationship. Ultimately the decision is yours, but I would still advise waiting longer. Move in during the fall when the weather cools down a bit and packing won't seem so annoying.
What are his thoughts on the subject of moving in together? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I suspect he isn't as keen on the idea as you, otherwise why would you be asking us?
I'd say a year is good. Two is better. But one year atleast. You need to, at the BARE MINIMUM, atleast get past that initial "on-your-best-behavior-act" part of the beginning. Get to the point where you are both acting the way you really act,...that way,...by that time you will have seen eachothers little quirks and know if they are a deal breaker or not.
In fact, he bought it up with me when I was discussing changes in my living arrangement taking place over the next few months. He said "why dont we just move in together?! Want to?"
I had thoguht about it but was in no rush. Pressuring people or pushing something into something is not my idea of a good relationship. But when he openned up about his thoughts, we came to the same conclusion.
He is already planning each room and stuff.
I am asking you just to discuss peoples situations, learn, get outside input in case I overlook something.
From all of the stories from our married with children friends, they too moved quickly because it felt right. They are all very happy, healthy relationships (as far as you or I would know).... We have both discussed this with a few close friends, all of which said they couldnt see it any other way for us either.
Please, feel free to keep making blunt open statements on thoughts... I like to put it all out there.
Its funny you mention that... we openly discuss quirks, etc... ways we are different, ways we are the same ... how to address things that come up, etc...
I love this guy and am in love with this guy, for all his perfections and imperfections... though in the end, his imperfections seem perfect to me.
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Time to move in together?
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