Perfect relationship?

Just wanted to see what you all thought of this: in the relationships I've had, I tend to get very worried about "the perfection" of being the best gentleman, being completely considerate and ALWAYS respectful. I do this to a point where, if i miscommunicate, misunderstand, or make a mistake by "missing something" she said, that it makes me overly worried. I've gotten much better, but it still happens. I've gone to therapy for it, and its definitely helpful. I'm an open person, I feel I don't have anything to hide, we're all human we all make mistakes, we all hurt people sometimes...

The idea of the "perfect" relationship to me is one where, although there are mis-steps, some that may be very important, in the end the common factor is you still care about the person, thinking of the person and spending time with them makes you happy (not stressed or worried), and that despite being imperfect, you work things out.

This is reasonable, no? I've just never heard of a relationship without some arguments, fights (some that may, at times, be pretty intense), missteps, stumbling. etc. Do you think a "perfect" relationship is really a relationship in which, very simply, the happy times heavily outweight the times when your differences and human weaknesses/mistakes come out?

Sort of related, anyone else out there get pre-occupied with keeping things as perfect as possible?

Any good tips or ideas on how to keep perspective on things?


Peace.

[Marshbear]

You think toooo much.
How could anybody compare?
Are you perfect?
Have you found the perfect girl?

With your thinking about relationships I doubt if you even date or it lasts until she finds out about your perfection. I think your underlying problem is you lack confidence. If you think the relationship is going to suffer if you are not the perfect gentleman, then it will. I can see why you were in therapy. I hope it has helped you but by your post it seems you still have a lot of mis-steps to go through.
You put to much seriousness on things. Would a women really want to live in your world of perfection? I hope you become like the rest of us, human.

Peace...

[westernxer]

Guys preoccupied with being the perfect gentlemen do this to compensate for other weaknesses.

You're in for a world of hurt if you continue thinking about this nonsense.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by juan
Any good tips or ideas on how to keep perspective on things?

yeah JUAN, stop overanalyzing

a good relationship is one where the "good" is 51% and the "bad" is 49%. That's about the best you're gonna get in this world.

[beesknees]

women appreciate it if you are considerate and a gentleman.

nonetheless, nobody is perfect.

chill out, and just be yourself.

just don't be a big nerd.