[cupcke]

[color=blue]Hi, I am Amanda. I have been with my ex for 4 1/2 years. We have a 19 month old together. I broke up with him back in March and he bothered me like crazy. I had to put an EPO on him, and throughout the who 2 weeks before court, he was begging me to forgive him, and to take him back. He even came over like 3 times, and called like 400 times (which was illegal) pleading his love for me. @ court, I dropped the charges, and took him back. Granted he started staying the night everynight for like 2 weeks. One night we got into a stupid fight, and he left saying that it was never gonna work. Since then, we spend time together, he has stayed over several times, and I was starting to feel like a family again.

Lately, he has been acting like a jerk saying that I am on his jock and such. Sometimes when I call him, he treats me bad, and I start to cry. I really want to be a family again. Well, 4 days ago....he told me that he had met another girl, and I exploded inside. I am 29, and he said she was 17. I was asking him how he could do this after only 2 weeks prior, he was telling me he wanted to start spending more time with me and the baby. And that everything was gonna be ok. I flipped out...crying and pleading for him not to replace me. He is Latin, I am white. She is Cuban, so I feel like really bad. He toldme to call her..(why? I don't know) And when I did, she was like he's my man, honey. I was like wtf? Then she told me that they had met 4 months ago. And that they have been going out to the club together as recently as last weekend. Now she is moving to Miami today...and he told me that he is going to move to Orlando to work for his uncle. I don't want to lose him, we have the baby together, and I know that he loves me. That night, he called me before bed, saying that I messed things up for him and that Cuban girl, because she feels bad for me. Then he told me that I am a b*tch, and that he hates me....I am like WTF is going on? Like 10 days ago, we were sleeping next to each other! OMG, I am seriously having a hard time. Idon't know what to do. I talked to his friends ex, and she told me not to call him, and to ignore him. But I keep thinking about our family. I don't know if I am stupid or what...I think I am in shock. Help me please...[/color]

[ReluctantRomeo]

Hi Amanda,

I'm really sorry to hear this. That is so low of him. I can understand you feeling really bad right now.

What I'm going to say may hurt, but it's for your own good. The reason he is starting to seem like a jerk is... he IS a jerk! The real question is why you would put up with such behaviour and allow yourself to be degraded in this way.

Women (and men) who put up with abusive behaviour do so for a reason. I really strongly suggest that:

- you seek therapy/counselling.
- while you are sorting this out in your head, you let him go. I personally think you should let him go for ever, but letting him go temporarily while you reflect on the relationship may be all you can do right now.