My ex is not threatened by me, and we get along really great ( a little too well for people that have broken up before) He has called me names that he called me when we dated... etc etc.. compliments me and tells me how much I've changed and how wonderful I am... Every time we've talked on the phone it's been for over 30 mins (which was more then when we dated for over 2 1/2 years)
I want him to know I'm still interested but at the same time, I don't want to push him away... i feel like he may be slowly coming back with everything that has been happening b/c he believes I stopped drinking (words don't mean as much as actions?, but I started pulling NC
How can I prove to him I stopped drinking???
and Is NC bad in my situation?
We've always gotten along really well, but maybe he should be the one calling me?
I think that you should speak to him sometimes, but make it brief and not too "i want you" fied! And if he then start to contact you be "busy" sometimes and not answe him....Make him think youre giving him space, but not that youre over him..!
__________________
Love Is Blindness, I Dont Wanna See - U2
I think strict NC should be mandatory for a while, if it can be done.
You both need your space and keeping ties will only keep the bond there.
Regardless if you want to start a friendship or a relationship with him again, you've got to start on a new foundation. It will take time to get rid of the current one.
Originally posted by Angeleyez2583
I guess partial NC is in order
"partial NC", WTF is that? You either have NC or you do not, there is not middle ground. Same as marriage, you are either married or you are not, there is no such thing as "partial marriage".
Yeah, that's like saying, I'm sort of pregnant. Either you are or you're not!
No contact is no contact.
Alpha's right.
BUT...There is "unintentional contact" which is by accident you see or run into the EX. That doesn't count UNLESS you make the effort to go talk to them.
Originally posted by Angeleyez2583
My ex is not threatened by me, and we get along really great ( a little too well for people that have broken up before) He has called me names that he called me when we dated... etc etc.. compliments me and tells me how much I've changed and how wonderful I am... Every time we've talked on the phone it's been for over 30 mins (which was more then when we dated for over 2 1/2 years)
I want him to know I'm still interested but at the same time, I don't want to push him away... i feel like he may be slowly coming back with everything that has been happening b/c he believes I stopped drinking (words don't mean as much as actions?, but I started pulling NC
How can I prove to him I stopped drinking???
and Is NC bad in my situation?
We've always gotten along really well, but maybe he should be the one calling me?
I guess partial NC is in order
Strict NC isn't necessary in this situation and there is no such thing as "partial NC" (that's an oxymoron in and of itself). What you should do is give him space and time to miss you. Don't spend much time talking on the phone or emailing. Instead, if you want to show him that you've changed, arrange to do some fun things together as friends. He needs to see that you've changed, but you also need to maintain your space. In other words, no hanging on him or begging or pleading him back. Instead, let your actions prove to him that you've stopped drinking and that you've changed.
Read Universe's thread on "Love is a Station, Not a Destination." Most of it's applicable to your situation.
People on LS are so involved with NC. There is a simple reason for this. Because they don't believe. Do you believe in your love?
COIC is right. There is a difference, and haters are going to tell you different. You have to believe in what your heart tells you- not what LS tells you. Even the "hardcores" like Alphamale will tell you that you should be NC forever, but there's a reason why he's old and single. He can tell you that hating is the way to go, but what does your body tell you?
There's no doubt that many people here are bitter, and they probably should be, but in the end, what does you tell YOU to do? The answer is much closer than some dude in Detroit preaching something that will make him and you miserable in the end. (sorry AM, but you are a drag, and I know you'll cop it out to "reality".)
I think it depends on the situation. Ask yourself, is this the person I want forever. If you don't know in fifteen seconds, then leave them be- forever.
__________________
"If you can't help it then just leave it alone, leave me alone, yeah, just forget it. It's really easy I'll just forget it too..."
--E. Smith
so i thought about it. Yeah he'd be the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. He was even saying how he was deeply in love with me the night he broke up with me.
I did want to spend the rest of my life with my ex. But now I wonder why I would have such feelings towards someone who has the ability - nay, consciously decided! - to hurt me this much.
I'm with Alpha on this one. There is no in-between. Of course you're damned if you do and damned if you don't, but you can't make someone come back. The way I see it, he can do so on his own. He knows where to find you.
Originally posted by outdated
People on LS are so involved with NC. There is a simple reason for this.
Actually, OUTDATED, the reason for the LS obsession with NC is because it is very hard to do and even harder to do properly!
Quote:
Even the "hardcores" like Alphamale will tell you that you should be NC forever,
The length of NC depends on the situation at hand. It may last 3 months or forever. I have never stated anywhere that NC always lasts forever. If you are the dumper you institute NC to not lead the dumpee on. If you are the dumpee then you insitute NC to get the dumper back if that is what u want. But NC does not work in 5 days time, maybe 5 months. I also advocate NC because I have stated numerous times I don't think lovers should be "friends" after a breakup. Does this help OUTDATED??
Quote:
but there's a reason why he's old and single.
I am not old and I am single by choice. I was even married for 3 yrs. And....I almost always have female company which is much more than I can say for a lot of guys.
Quote:
He can tell you that hating is the way to go,
I do not advocate hating anyone, but I do advocate tough love and respecting yourself first.
Quote:
The answer is much closer than some dude in Detroit preaching something that will make him and you miserable in the end. (sorry AM, but you are a drag, and I know you'll cop it out to "reality".)
Originally posted by alphamale
Actually, OUTDATED, the reason for the LS obsession with NC is because it is very hard to do and even harder to do properly!
The length of NC depends on the situation at hand. It may last 3 months or forever. I have never stated anywhere that NC always lasts forever. If you are the dumper you institute NC to not lead the dumpee on. If you are the dumpee then you insitute NC to get the dumper back if that is what u want. But NC does not work in 5 days time, maybe 5 months. I also advocate NC because I have stated numerous times I don't think lovers should be "friends" after a breakup. Does this help OUTDATED??
I am not old and I am single by choice. I was even married for 3 yrs. And....I almost always have female company which is much more than I can say for a lot of guys.
I do not advocate hating anyone, but I do advocate tough love and respecting yourself first.
Not sure which poster commented on ALPHA being a drag but I gotta step in here and say that the thing about ALPHA that makes him a great poster is that he is VERY HONEST and he knows about what he is talking about. So take it as him being a drag but I have to step up and say I disagree.
Originally posted by RoxStar
Not sure which poster commented on ALPHA being a drag but I gotta step in here and say that the thing about ALPHA that makes him a great poster is that he is VERY HONEST and he knows about what he is talking about. So take it as him being a drag but I have to step up and say I disagree.
I try my best ROXIE but I don't know everything, but thanx
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
So sensitive.
Just jokes my friend! 
Linear Mode
