Lately I have been going through somewhat of a twenty-something midlife crisis.. if I can call it that. I think that i am a bit confused about each aspect of my life and what I want.
One of the biggest things lately has been my lack of motivation. I go to work, come home, and I am completely exhausted. I don't want to do anything.. I'm having a difficult time being proactive to write music, practice my instruments, do my laundry, or take care of small things like laundry, cleaning the apartment, etc. At my job, I enjoy my work but it seems sometimes that the responsibilities and pressures can be a little unneccessary for the amount of time that I put in and get paid for (I teach HS music.) I also work with another teacher there who has been there forever.. and I am constantly having to live in his shadow and teach all of the second groups. The location of the school also kinda forces me to live in an area where none of my friends really are. I would like to get my own apartment next year without a roommate but I also cannot afford or find any of the areas where I currently live pleasing enough to sign another lease for a year. The only reason I prefer to stay where I work is because the school has a good musical reputation with lots of support for the program.
Aside from my job and other things that I have mentioned.. I haven't had the energy or will to go to the gym like I used to. I am good looking, but I have never felt that I have ever looked my best because I will always get going on working out, being healthy.. and then I slip up and end in this same spot.
In addition.. while I'm ranting here I might as well get out all my frustrations.. I have always been a poorly organized person. I always leave things out, or don't know what to do with things and they just clutter my life up. In general, all of this that I have mentioned just makes me feel like I am barely staying afloat.. keeping my head above the water... and it is really not how I would like to go about the rest of my life.
I'm not sure where I should begin.. I'm tired of reading self help books.. maybe therapy would be good but it just seems like even that will be a long and not personal enough process to go through.
Sure feels nice to be sucked into the status quo, doesn't it.
You need to quit your job and look for something else? Or go out and travel a little bit, see the world.
Or you can shave your head, convert to Buddhism, and live in a monastery.
Routine is killing you, that's for sure. Better do something fast, before you wind up married with children. Then you're screwed, especially when you're not ready for it.
I agree with western... you're into a routine and it's not one that's come as a result of being married and having kids.
Since you're a music teacher, you have a background in education. Why not quit your job (the school year's almost over), and apply to teach English in a foreign country? Think about it -- a massive change of surroundings, a genuine adventure, and something that contributes to your personal development.
I'd follow my own advice except that I have two small kids. Enjoy your freedom while you have it!
__________________
See the bird with the leaf in her mouth
After the flood, all the colours came out.
-- U2
For instance, isn't it ironic the only way to boost your energy level is to find the energy to go work out?
1. Working out will make you feel better about yourself.
2. It will give you more energy.
3. You'll want to play your instruments more (it does for me, and it helps me hear songs in my head that I can translate to the guitar).
4. You'll LOOK better.
5. It's good for your mental health
At some point, you have to pull yourself up from your bootstraps and force yourself to work out. It will start a snowball effect that will really get you pointed in the right direction.
I've been right where you are before so trust me, I speak from experience.
is what it's called. some lady wrote a book on it, and was promoting it on 'oprah'- the feeling of 20-somethings that we were supposed to get somewhere by today. i haven't read it, but i identify quite well with the idea.
maybe a temporary change of environment/scenery (i.e. vacation!) will help clear your head and help you re-focus. you need to remove yourself from the present situation, and re-evaluate your place in life.
you mentioned that you're disorganized. take a weekend and do some spring cleaning. i find that when i start cleaning, i get on a roll. i feel much better afterwards. once my place is organized, the rest usually follows.
i also find it helpful to make lists of goals- where u see yourself in 5 years kinda thing. puts things into perspective by physically writing them down.
for what it's worth, i don't know many people who are 100% satisfied with their jobs, and if you are, you're one of the lucky few. the 20's is still an early point in life where you're still climbing the employment ladder. all you can do is make the most of it, or get out and do something else.
definitely try to take some time away from the routine. we all need a break now and then.
I spent 3 1/2 hours housecleaning last night - you could say I got on a roll!
I went to a seminar years ago, and one of the topics I kinda remember had to do with small changes to routine such as taking a new route to and from work every day.
Here are a few:
Go to the gym in the early morning before work, or not at your usual time.
Go out for bacon and eggs one day during the week instead of having your bran flakes at home.
Go outside for a walk during your break.
Sign up for a yoga class.
Spend some time with your family
School is just about over, so what are you planning for your summer? Make some plans and stick with them.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
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